


No Regrets

by DawnKuwabara (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Humor, Canonical Character Death, Drama, Dysfunctional Family, Dysfunctional Relationships, F/F, F/M, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mention of Statutory Rape, Mentions of Cancer, Mentions of Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2014-10-28
Packaged: 2018-02-06 03:41:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 33,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1843033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/DawnKuwabara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Formally titled "Second Chances."</p><p>At thirty-six, Gabriel decides he wants to start over and go to a community college. His cousin Balthazar is staying with him until he can find a job, while seeing a therapist. He hates his job, and he can't seem to run from his past in more ways than one. He's not the only person with problems, though, as they all try to run from their past as far as life, love, family and tragedy are concerned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta'd. I've never been at the Columbus State Community College or in any community college (I went to a university). So things might be inaccurate, and it's my first SPN fic. I want constructive criticism because I aim to improve.

There are so many things a person can do in a shower or bath. He can relax, sing embarrassing songs, and sleep. Shut himself away from the world for fifteen-twenty minutes to an hour. He can eat in a bath. He can jerk off. Listen and sing to Seal. Have hot sex with a much younger man. Enjoy cuddling in a bath with a lovely woman who has gone to medical school. So yes, there’s lots of things a man can do in a shower or a bath.

Unfortunately, Gabriel Milton can’t do any of that stuff now for two reasons. He has a cousin staying with him, and every time, that cousin either steps in to throw up in a toilet after a binge. Or, each morning, he can’t seem to control his bladder and walks right in to take a piss. Gabriel doesn’t even know why his cousin is here. All he knows is that he has to lock up his room and get used to not having any privacy anymore. The other reason is that this apartment that he moved into almost a year ago has water pressure and temperature problems. It was okay at first, when he first moved in. But ever since summer began, if someone in the building flushed the toilet, ice cold water would pour all over him.

And he asked the landlord to do something about it. Actually, a lot of people (some who did not ask nicely at all) asked him to do something about it. The landlord claimed he was busy, and he would do something about it whenever he gets the chance. They are still waiting for that day he gets the chance.

Indeed, someone from the fifth floor has flushed the toilet, and Gabriel yelps and steps away from the ice cold water spraying at him.

Thankfully, he’s already rinsed and ready to step out. He turns off the shower and pulls away the shower curtain. He blinks and looks around. Normally, his cousin would be in there handling his business on the toilet. In fact, he’s beginning to smell toast. Gabe raises an eyebrow and steps out, taking his robe with him.  
___

Walking through the living room and entering the kitchen, he can only blink at the sight of his cousin, wearing pajamas, flipping something in a skillet with a spatula. He then sees two glasses of orange juice, and toast and butter laid out on the kitchen table. He is almost horrified at the sight, glancing back at his cousin. This isn’t Balthazar at all. Balthazar does not cook breakfast. He lays in bed, getting up to take a piss whenever he feels like it. He’s impressed though. Maybe that hot therapist finally got a hold of him.

Gabriel leans against the doorframe and clears his throat. Balthazar blinks and turns around. When he sees the shorter man, Balthazar lets out a nervous laugh. He then gestures at the skillet with his spatula. “Um...surprise?”

“Surprise?” Gabriel scratches the back of his neck as he walks over to the table. “More like, ‘I’m horrified.’ “ He raises an eyebrow. “You made toast?” He smells something else and glances at the skillet. “Are you making scrambled eggs?”

“I am,” Balthazar replies. “Because,” he turns around to check on the scrambled eggs before moving them around a little, “Sharla said that I should start making things for you since, you know, I’m crashing your place. And besides, you need brain food for all of your classes, right?”

“I knew it.” Gabriel nods slowly, walking towards a cabinet. He reaches for a container and lid, then setting it down. He could use that for his breakfast. He cannot stay as he was already running late. “Welp, if you wanna help so much, maybe paying some of the rent would be nice, eh, Bally?” He raises his eyebrow at him.

“I haven’t found a job yet,” Balthazar replies as he turns off the stove.  
Gabe scoffs and gestures his hand up at him. “Then how are you paying your therapist?”

“Medicaid!”

Gabe scoffs again. “Jesus Christ. I fucking can’t with you!” He shakes his head and walks off. He needs to get ready for that math class. Balthazar grins at him. Even though Gabe may not have been so impressed, he’s proud of having made breakfast for anyone other than himself.  
___

Gabriel is naturally nervous. He’s never been a college student before. Even worse, he is thirty-six, and butterflies flutter in his stomach when he sees nothing but eighteen to twenty-two year old kids walking or chatting around the commons at the Columbus State Community College. He feels so out of place. There aren’t too much students at all at the moment, as it was early in the morning. That math class starts at eight. He sets down the now empty container that he ate out of while he was driving towards the campus. He makes sure he has his key, and his two books for the day in his bookbag. He has his wallet, and his seriously fucking expensive parking pass is displayed around the handle of the rear view mirror, so that he won’t get a ticket. He takes a deep breath and then steps out of the car.

Gabriel wanted to do something with his life for once. And he felt that one thing he might be well at was to be a vet. He loves dogs. It pisses him off that he couldn’t keep his old dog Lola in his apartment. And so, when he spoke to his then recently ex-girlfriend about it, she happily took Lola in. He visits her when he has the time, but luckily Lola took a liking to Kali and her fiancé. He certainly loves animals more than people, that’s for sure. He can put that love to good use.

He moved to Columbus three years ago. As far as he was concerned, this city was better than most cities he’d been to so far. And he’s traveled everywhere in the United States, hoping to find a home for himself. Columbus isn’t a large and fast city like Los Angeles or New York City. There are so many events to enjoy in Columbus.

Gabriel doesn’t know if he is able to enjoy any of that now. Because of school, he had to give up working the normal five-day workweek, which had him working seven to six as a cook in a senior citizen home. He now has to work the weekends and nights, and ten of those hours are cut because someone else was able to work some of those hours. His manager decided that Gabe can have Mondays and Wednesdays off. He can work from seven in the morning to four on the weekends. He only has one class for Tuesday, Thursday and Friday, so then he can work from one to ten. The point is, he is now living on a tight budget and he has to work the shitty hours.

That is why he sighs miserably at the prices of different sized coffee on the menu at one of the cafes. Two dollars and forty-nine cents for a small cup of coffee?  
He grumbles as he pays three dollars for that cup of coffee, counting the exact change that is given to him. He’ll just bring his own coffee from now on.  
___

Gabriel eventually finds the building and the room to where the complicated world of math will take place. He still has thirty minutes, but he wants to be the first one there. He peeks inside the room, and blinks when he sees a much younger woman sitting at the front row. He can hear video game music coming from her as well. Well, at least he is the second student in the room.

He clears his throat, and she turns around. Wearing glasses and very red hair with bangs, the woman smiles. “This is Professor Nguyen’s Math Fundamentals I,” she says, pausing her iPhone afterwards.

“Oh thank fucking god,” Gabriel breathes, walking over to sit next to her. “It took me forever to find the building.”

“It’s hard to sometimes.” She shrugs as Gabriel takes out his math book. “You’ll like Nguyen, though. He’s a little strict, but he’ll help you out. The teaching assistant can help too.”

“Teaching assistant?” He can’t help but snort at that. They have that now? His oldest brother didn’t have that kind of help when he went to college. “I bet she’s been doing him some favors.” He waggles his eyebrows. “If you know what I mean.” He laughs at his own words while the woman simply raises an eyebrow at that, she looks over and sees a much younger student walk in. He is tall, with Greek letters on his shirt.

“Is this Professor Nguyen’s class?” He asks.

The woman nods. “Yes it is.” As the boy takes his seat at the wall, the woman turns back to the older man. “So what is your name?”

Gabriel extends his hand at her. “Gabe Milton. I know I’m too old to be here but...”

She shakes her hand and flashes a smile. “Charlie Bradbury. And don’t sweat it. We have a lot of people coming back years later to start over...or people just starting very late.”

He sits back and yawns, sipping his coffee. “I haven’t seen any so far.”

“Well it’s only your first class.” Some more students find their way into the room, each trying to decide what seat would be best for them. Charlie resumes her game. “After awhile you’ll find a few people. I know a lot of them are parents too, going to school only part time.”

Gabriel nods at that and sighs, staring into the blackboard. “Yep that’s me.” This room seems way too much like high school. And although Gabriel was pretty smart as a teenager, he thought school was bullshit so he eventually dropped out, having to complete a GED. More students walk in, diverse as the planet. He observes some of them, trying not to come off as a creepy old man. There are more girls with Greek letters. And a young man is just walking in with rap music as loud as day from his ear phones. Lots of yawns and buzzing sounds from everyone’s smartphones.

Eventually, an Asian man, probably as old as Gabriel himself, walks in, with his big bookbag and closes the door. “Good morning,” he speaks quietly, walking to the front. And Gabriel immediately discovers that this is professor Nguyen. He is also dismayed, because the man has a thick accent. Nguyen sets his bookbag down on the desk and nods to everyone. “I am Professor Nguyen, and welcome to the first section of Math Fundamentals.” He pauses, reaching over to take out his math book. “And yes, my name is actually pronounced ‘when’ before you ask.” He then takes out a huge stack of paper. He glances at Charlie and asks, “Charlie, can you pass out the syllabi?”

Gabriel can only stared wide-eyed at the woman as she walks up to grab the stack of syllabi.

The professor gestures at Charlie. “Class, this is Charlie Bradbury. She is our teaching assistant for this course. She is handing you your syllabus. You have your first homework assignment tonight.”

Charlie grins at the class and waves. “Hey everybody! It’s nice to finally meet you!” As she is passing out the syllabi, Gabriel can only face his book. Because he just remembered having made a teaching assistant having sex with a professor joke, and Charlie is probably now offended. And she looks like the type of person who will fail him simply for that reason. Maybe there is still time to switch classes.

Luckily, the class is only fifty-five minutes long. His class at noon, a course for veterinary technology, would last an hour and a half. But he’ll at least enjoy that one. His thoughts are broken when Nguyen speaks again, “Please be aware that if you are tardy more than three times, I will fail you. Same if you have an unexcused absence.” Gabriel immediately ignores the professor and thinks about how he can make it up to Charlie.  
___

He sits at the cafeteria, sighing at the thirty math problems he has to do by Wednesday. It is a painful reminder that he no longer has free time for himself, and even worse, Balthazar will distract him. He glances at one of the cooks yelling at a student worker for not taking corrective measures for the cooked potatoes.

Suddenly he feels nostalgia. He was at that very spot eight years ago, helping out student worker at Stanford University. Unfortunately he only remembered the bad shit that happened. The head cook was a pervert. He kept hitting on women and various female students, even though he was married with two daughters. They were always understaffed. It was onto so much because people called off, but to save labor, they had to cut hours. It drove Gabriel to smoke even more than usual. Worse of all, that was when he first met that twenty-year-old boy who completely seduced him, unintentionally. He later got outed by a coworker when she caught them sharing glances at each other, and even though he wasn’t let go, it was embarrassing to be caught doing that with a student, so he left.

So it wasn’t a good place to work at.

He happens to glance at the cook again when he sees Charlie ordering a pizza.

Oh sweet! Now is the opportunity to try to explain to Charlie that he is not a sleaze and that joke was not his, it was his cousin’s. The problem with that plan is that Gabriel usually jokes like that and makes far more crude jokes than Balthazar ever had. Well, she’s turning around and has glanced at him. And Gabriel seizes the opportunity, quickly putting his book in his bookbag and gathering his tray. And when he walks up to her, she can only raise an eyebrow at him.

He clears his throat, trying to find the right way to say this. “Hey Charlie.”

“Hey...” She gives him a faint smile.

“Look, about what I said earlier, I never said you were trying to get into Nguyen’s pants.” And when he sees Charlie stare wide-eyed at that, he immediately corrects himself. “I mean—I’m just, you know—I was saying that in general about...” He glances at her and she is still frowning. This isn’t working.

“Students... sleeping with...um... professors...” He says this slowly and cautiously. He clears his throat. “That’s what I meant.”

Charlie stares at Gabriel, and there’s a long and awkward silence between them. Finally she replies, “Okay, you really are a sleaze.” And at that she walks off, shaking her head.

Gabriel is not giving in though, and he follows her out of the food court and into the outside commons. He shrugs at her. “Okay, fine, you’re right,” he begins. “I am a sleaze.” She chuckles dryly. “I smoke everything, and drink, sleep with strippers and I make crude jokes that make people cry.” He walks faster so he can stop her. “And I know you’re thinking that I think I know anything about you. But I don’t.” He pauses and then scratches his head. “Shit I really don’t know where I’m going with this. Basically I just wanted to apologize for the joke. I didn’t know you were the teaching assistant.” He shrugs at her.

Charlie folds her arms, gives him the are we seriously still discussing this look and shakes her head. “Well, here’s the thing. You don’t know anything about someone you don’t know, you’re right.” She walks slowly. “And even if a student is sleeping with a professor, what makes either party a bad guy? As long as it’s consensual, yes?” Gabriel doesn’t know how to respond to that, and given his past, he’s beginning to feel like a hypocrite.

The two hear someone shout Charlie’s name, and they turn around to see a taller man with short hair, standing beside his Chevrolet Impala.

Charlie turns back to Gabriel and says, “Well that’s my ride.” Gabriel is flabbergasted at the fact that this Ken doll might be her boyfriend. She walks off, but then turns around and says, “You’re forgiven. You didn’t know that I was the teaching assistant. You just better get all those questions done by Wednesday, because I’ll be personally grading them.” She gives him a smug smile and waves goodbye before walking off towards the man.

Gabriel can only murmur, “Yeah, okay,” even though she is too far away to hear it.  
___

“So, who was that guy,” the man asks Charlie as she gets into the car.

“Oh, one of my students,” she replies, shaking her head.

He looks over at the man walking back towards the food court, and he raises an eyebrow. “Isn’t he a bit too old to be a student?”

She sighs as he starts the car. “Dean, he is such a total sleaze.” She glances at him. “But no, you’re never too old to go to college. Everyone deserves a second chance.”

Dean shakes his head. “I’d stay away from him then.” He begins to drive off, leaving the parking lot. He keeps his eyes on the road towards the exit, while looking through his tapes. Dean is not the type of person to use CDs or MP3 players. And besides, the Impala was a 1967 model, given to his father by his father’s uncle, so using CDs and MP3 players would impossible with the car anyway. And there was nothing better than the authentic sounds from a cassette tape. He smiles and decides to put on Styx.

Charlie refuses to let it go. “I mean, he made that Teaching Assistant Sleeping With the Professor joke!” Dean blinks at that.

“Wait what?!”

She absentmindedly bobs her head to the music. It grows on you when Dean plays the same damn stuff everyday. “I mean, he didn’t know I was teaching but...” she looks over at him and asks. “Tell me the truth.” Dean glances at her, giving her his attention. “Do I look like the type of student that sleeps with her professor?”

“With Nguyen or whatever the hell his name is?”

“Yeah.”

“No...” Dean grimaces. “God no.”

Charlie nods at the answer. She expected him to say that because he knows her. Contrary to Gabriel’s assumptions, Dean and Charlie are not dating for one real reason. And it’s not because they’ve been friends for a few years. “Okay, what if...” she pauses, “what if Nguyen was a woman? And she was a beautiful one?”

Dean glances at her again. “You would make the first move?”

“Oh no,” Charlie replies immediately. “I wouldn’t ever make the first move.”

“All right, and what if she made the first move?”

“Then I wouldn’t be able to restrain myself,” she admits. She glances at Dean. “Would you sleep with her?”

Dean slowly smirks, not glancing at her. In a low voice, he answers, “You’re damn right I would.”

Charlie raises an eyebrow at him. “Wow, you really are a sleaze too.”

In the same tone, he responds, “You’re damn right I am.”


	2. Everyday People

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A trigger warning for mentioning of putting down pets or losing someone to a disease. And another trigger warning for someone telling someone else to kill themselves.
> 
> Contains an explicit m/m scene, and flashbacks are in italics and in past tense. As always, constructive criticism is encouraged. :)

The song, “Everyday People,” blows up from Gabriel’s phone at a very high volume, and he jumps up from his bed, his heart jumping from his chest. He glances at the phone, and it is six-fifty-four in the morning. He was supposed to be up almost an hour ago. And the 1970s funk band, Sly and the Family Stone, wasn’t supposed to be his alarm sound for the morning.

Gabriel grumbled and rushes into the bathroom. He decides that Balthazar can buy his own fucking food for the rest of the month.

___

Gabriel is thankfully able to find a parking spot. He grabs his bookbag and hightails it out of his car. He never got a chance to make breakfast or his own coffee, so he is both tired and hungry. He only had three hours of sleep last night because of his job and the fact that he was reading his textbook from Anatomy and Physiology, which is the name of his first course for veterinary technology. So no, he actually didn’t attempt to do jack squat about those math problems. He has his little paper map of the campus to find the building where his English class is to take place. As stated before, this is his only class for the day, but since he works for the rest of the day, he once again has to figure out how to balance work and homework. He certainly doesn’t want a shitty grade from Charlie.

He hears someone whistling out for him. He turns around and blinks when he sees that black Chevrolet Impala parked not too far from his own car. He can only sigh at the sight of that Ken doll sitting in it, motioning at the older man to come over to him. He swallows and walks over to him. Dean sighs and rolls down his window. He was waiting for Charlie to come out, but now that he’s seen Gabriel, he has some words to say to this man. He might as well get to the chase.

“Hey, can I help you?” Gabe can only ask, leaning down.

“Yeah, I was wondering if you were the guy Charlie was with yesterday.”

He swallows. He figures Charlie has probably said not-so-nice things to this man about him. He then wonders if he should ask for Charlie. Maybe not, because this probably may not end so well. “How is Charlie doing?” God-fucking-dammit.

Dean raises an eyebrow at him. “She’s fine. Almost done teaching her class.” Gabriel nods at this and Dean then extends his hand out at him. “I’m Dean, by the way.” Gabriel returns the handshake.

“I’m Gabe.” He gives Dean a bright smile. “I’m just one of her students. Her and Professor Nguyen are nice people, you know?” Maybe he should cover up the reason why Charlie was with him. He comes up with the perfect lie. “Charlie was just giving me helpful hints about some of the problems, you know?” And then he concludes, “So I’m not trying to steal her away from you or anything. You’re a lucky man.”

And Dean just stares at him, completely flabbergasted. “Are...are you serious?” Before Gabe can respond to that, Dean grimaces and continues, “You _do_ realize she’s gay, right?” Gabe can only blink at that. He tries to speak again, but Dean cuts him off with, “And even if she wasn’t, we wouldn’t be dating.” He then speaks more quietly, “And you know something else? Even if she were straight, she wouldn’t let some old geezer loser trying to go back to school touch her.” Gabe doesn’t stop blinking at this. He knew it would so come to this. Dean narrows his eyes at him. “You understand where I’m going with this?”

Gabe lets out an exasperated sigh and nods. After awhile he has figured out what to say to this fool. “Ho-kay, boychick,” he begins in a cheery voice, stepping away from the car and adds, “I apologize for assuming that you two are dating, and you’re trying to protect her like she is your sister, but...” he stares hard at Dean, “you need to get laid. Or grow up.” He frowns hard. Dean blinks at that, because he _knows_ Gabriel didn’t just insult him like that. Gabriel continues, “Like seriously. I love how you assumed that I was trying to get into her pants, when I wasn’t. All I made was crude joke that wasn’t directed at her.” He steps further back, shrugging. “So here’s what I’ll do. If it makes you feel better, I won’t speak to her ever again, unless it’s related to math.” He gestures at Dean. “Meanwhile, you’ve pretty much made me late for my class. So you can go fuck yourself!” He smiles cheerfully.

Dean is pretty much done with this conversation. He can only smile back. “Right back at ya,” he pauses, “with someone’s dick.”

Gabe raises an eyebrow at that. “Oh, boychick, _please_ tell me you’re not offering. I don’t fuck douchebags.” He then winks as he walks off, albeit quickly, glad to be done with Dean and his bullshit.

Dean, a little shocked from that comment, frowns then, shaking his head.

___

Gabriel finally finds the classroom for English, and he first sees that the door is shut with people inside. So he tries to open the door. And now he sees that the door is locked. So he sighs, swears under his breath, and gently knocks on the door. He is fifteen minutes late. He seriously wants to murder Balthazar—and Dean—for this. Luckily, a girl opens the door and blinks up at him, before letting Gabriel in. He thanks her and he sees a tall woman sitting in front of the overhead screen that isn’t turned on. She must be the professor. Unlike his math and Anatomy class, both consisted of desks, this room has tables lined next to each other. And although it is a small class, the tables and seats were all used. 

“Sorry, for being late,” he says to the professor, who smiles at him.

“It’s okay,” She extends her hand at him and smiles, “I’m Schumacher; welcome to College Writing I.” Gabriel can only smile nervously at that. That _is_ how the course reads on his schedule. “It doesn’t look like there are any seats left...” She trails off and looks across the room. And then she blinks and points to the back. “Oh, wait! There’s a seat for you—in the back. Next to Sam over there.”

As soon as Gabriel looks over at where this Sam person was, he freezes, and his heart jumps. Because he knows that person named Sam over there. And this man named Sam blinks at him and then swallows, because he knows Gabriel. The very sight of this tall man, who can only look down to avoid the older man’s gaze, brings butterflies fluttering through Gabe’s veins, and he tries his damnedest to breathe as he slowly walks towards him. 

They haven’t seen each other in eight years.

 

_The sounds in the bedroom were the two window fans blowing hot air in full capacity, a squeaking bed, and whimpers and gasps. Two naked and sweaty bodies—partially from the heatwave in much of California that summer—moved together slowly with one sitting on the other’s lap. A younger and longer-haired Gabriel let out a trembling sigh and buried his face against the chest of a much younger and taller man, Sam—no more than twenty-years-old. Sam slowly rolled his hips back and forth, clenching around the older man’s cock. It was an attempt for some kind of intimacy on the boy’s part, and to make this last longer as they had been fucking for awhile. Gabriel was trying to keep himself from climaxing too soon. The younger man cupped his chin and leaned down for a hungry kiss with tongue, moaning in lips, and Gabriel used one of his hands to support himself before the broke the kiss, panting against each other’s lips. As Gabriel thrust upward, Sam tilted his head back and gasped. He could sense Gabe was becoming impatient, and he gently pushed him on to his back, picking up the pace with a faint and open smile._

_Gabe shut his eyes and writhed, gripping Sam’s hips, and a soft moan came out of his mouth. He could hear moans from this man riding him fast, and it brought butterflies all inside of his stomach. How the fuck did this kid do it? “Fuck...” he breathed, thrusting upwards again to meet with the younger man’s hips, the squeaking from the bed becoming louder. Sam’s moans were becoming louder and airier, and he reached down to jerk himself off, curling up his toes as he felt his body build up closer to his orgasm._

_Gabe wanted him to get it over with already, because he couldn’t hold on for much longer either. He heard Sam whine, “Gabe...” And the older man growled at such a voice, shutting his eyes again and biting his lip, as he pushed his head against his pillow._

_“Come on, baby,” Gabriel whimpered, ending up slapping his lover’s ass. “Come for me, baby, please...” He was practically begging him, and the fact that the younger man always had Gabriel wrapped around his finger turned them both on so much. It was enough for Sam to let out a strangled cry and come on his chest, jerking himself off vigorously as he rode out his orgasm, clutching at Gabriel with his free hand._

_And Gabriel came too, letting out a whine as he bucked his hips and ran his hands up and down his lover’s back. Sam gasped and leaned over, pressing his head against the wall as they slowed down their movements. Eventually Sam moved up off Gabriel’s softening cock and collapsed on the bed beside him, both trembling._

_Because of the heat (Gabe never attempted to buy a new air conditioner when the old one broke), they lie there completely naked with no blanket over them. Gabriel sighed and eventually sat back up, reaching for the joint he rolled up before Sam came by. He lit it and took on long drag, exhaling shakily as he peeled off the used condom. He tossed it into the small trashcan by the nightstand. Another day. Thank god it was his day off. It never stopped him and Sam from spending nights together during the days he did work, however._

_“I love you,” he heard the faint murmur from his lover. Sam had only recently started saying that, and each time Gabriel felt a blow right into his gut. He couldn’t understand why this college hunk would feel that way towards him. Gabriel Milton, this short, GED-obtaining, blunt-smoking, twenty-eight year old cook-slash-musician, who never cleaned up his apartment and drunk and fucked so much, was the last person you would expect Sam to feel any attraction towards—man or woman. Gabriel looked over at him as Sam simply stared into space, reaching over to grasp his older lover’s hand. “Even if you sometimes bring other women into your place, I’ll always love you.”_

_Gabriel’s breath hitched at that, and he tightened his grip on Sam’s hand. A beagle then walked into the room and Gabriel sighed, leaning down, petting the dog. He thinks back at Sam’s three words. All he could do was take another drag of his joint and stare at the window, sighing. “I know, kiddo.”  
_

 

And Sam is now here, his hair a little longer and the youthful glow in his face having disappeared somewhat. He isn’t as thin as he was when Gabriel last saw him, and in fact, Gabe can see muscle under that plaid shirt. The older man sits down and sets down his bookbag, his heart still racing. That one day during that heatwave when Sam told Gabriel he loved him (again), after they had sex, has already flooded into his mind. And Gabriel doesn’t really remember saying that he loved Sam too. He glances up at Sam, who is frowning and not looking back at him. He swallows and whispers with a faint smile, “Long time no see, huh, Sam?” Gabriel feels that was a good conversation starter to someone he hasn’t seen in eight years. Though he is confused as to why Sam is in a community college at all. Shouldn’t he have been a lawyer by now?

Well, Sam simply shakes his head. “Not long enough,” he mutters, saying nothing else afterwards. Gabriel blinks at such a cold response and turns his attention to the professor, sighing. It is so awkward sitting next to Sam. It doesn’t help that he still ends up thinking about those steamy days or nights for that year and a half they were together in Stanford. Sam was a student there, studying law and Gabe, as mentioned before, was a cook in the cafeteria. He met Sam when the boy had just turned nineteen, and then he saw Gabe perform at a local bar. It’s a little blurry in Gabriel’s mind as to how they ended up sleeping with each other.

Oh wait a minute. He ruthlessly broke up with Sam. 

Okay, that totally makes sense now as to why the younger man is so cold with him now. If Gabriel could move somewhere else, he would. This class lasts one hour.

Gabriel sighs and goes on to reach inside for his books for English. He instead pulls out his math book, and his heart jumps when he realizes that he had left his two books for English at home. He swears under his breath and glances at all the other students, and all of them have one of the books out on the desk.

The professor walks over with a syllabus with a smile. Gabe thanks her before she walks back to the front to continue talking. He swallows and takes a quick glance at Sam, who pretty much does have his book. Gabe doesn’t want to ask anything out of Sam. He figures it’s bad enough that Sam has to sit by him, right?

However, he also wants to do well in _this_ class, if not math. He clears his throat, and with his eyes on the still unlit overhead screen, he whispers, “Sam?”

Sam sighs, his eyes also on the screen. “What?” His voice is low and flat. Yes, that is another change in Sam that Gabriel notices, his voice being lower and deep now. And butterflies flutter in the older man’s stomach from such a voice.

“I...um...I left my books here at home,” he whispers to Sam, who can only roll his eyes.

“We don’t need them today,” he mutters.

Gabriel raises an eyebrow at Sam. Well, that is good news, at least. He nods at his words and ends it there. He sighs and looks on at the professor again. He resolves to be in the room early next time. That way, he won’t have to sit next to Sam and feel the deep resentment the younger man has towards him. He will avoid him as much as humanly possible.

___

A couple of days passed and it is now Friday night. It is almost midnight to be exact, and Charlie is somewhat exhausted. She can only drink so much Red Bull before it loses its effectiveness, and she felt she needed to wind down and have fun before passing out on her bed. At least she has tomorrow to herself. And Sunday she’ll have her car again. It needed to be fixed, hence why Dean has been driving her around.

Speaking of which, Dean sighs and decides that it was okay to let Charlie drag him in to the bar. It was a usual spot, but Charlie really goes there for the karaoke. Dean goes there to drink, and sometimes pick up a pretty woman. Sometimes he will hit other bars and strip clubs in all of Columbus.

Dean was originally from Kansas, having lost his mother at four and was left to take care of his little brother. Because their father was frequently absent while they moved around. Perhaps he never got over losing his wife. But that is why he has that sense of duty to take care of people. First his brother (until said brother told him and their dad to fuck off and had ran away to college) and now Charlie. So maybe how he acted towards Gabriel was over the top. But she got hurt once and he promised her he would never let anyone hurt her again. After his dad died six years ago, Dean moved to Columbus and tried to find odd jobs before finally settling down as an auto-mechanic, the only thing that actually calmed him. He had a tough time settling down in one place, without any family, but he eventually met Charlie, who helped him through that. So for that, he owned her.

So tonight is just another night that Dean tolerates her enthusiasm for karaoke as a random person hops on the stage and begins singing “Everyday People.” Dean raises an eyebrow at the music and glances at Charlie. “Needs more Black Sabbath.”

Charlie smiles at him with a shrug. “If Pam has some of those songs, will you _finally_ sing with me?” She wags her eyebrows and grins sheepishly. She’s been trying to get Dean to sing karaoke with her for so long now.

Dean chuckles. “Maybe.” Yeah, he still would not have done it. He gestures at the bar and asks, “The usual?”

Charlie nods. “I’ll look for us a table.” At that, she walks off to the tables. Dean sighs and walks the other way. 

On his way there, he spots a familiar woman, and he can only grin. She is Indian-American, slender, slightly older than Dean. She’s frowning, staring at the cocktail as if she really doesn’t know when she will drink it. She sighs sadly just as the bartender, Pamela, walks over. Pamela sighs and shakes her head, leaning against the counter. “Things will be all right, hun. I’ve not been in your position, but I know it happens.” The other woman can only shake her head. She really doesn’t need to be reminded that things will be okay. Because they won’t.

She looks up at Pamela and replies, “Not for him or his family.”

Dean decides to walk up to her and grins, “Kali!”

The woman, Kali, turns around to see who called her name, but as soon as she sees that it’s Dean, she immediately scoffs, and turns away. She snaps, “Seriously? Dean, _not_ today!” The man can only blink. “Please, not today.”

Dean holds his hands up in defense, “Whoa, calm down, I was just sa—”

“I don’t care. Not today. Please.” She sighs, glancing back at him. “Maybe tomorrow. Just... just not today.”

Dean doesn’t see the point and he mumbles, “Okay, fine.” He walks off and shakes his head. He had given up on trying to date her a long time ago ever since she got engaged, but it never hurts to say hi, right? Apparently even that is too much.

Charlie finds a good table for her and Dean, nodding her head to the music. Yes, she definitely loves karaoke. It was fun and embarrassing, and besides video games and LARPing, this was a good de-stressor for her. She then blinks as she sees another man sitting there, with a drink in his hand. She recognizes him and grins as she walks over to him. The man blinks at her and nods and greets her with, “Charlie.”

She cocks her head to the side and shakes her head. “So, you’ve finally seen how wonderful karaoke is?”

He glances at the singer now singing to Prince and shakes his head. “It’s a de-stressor. I understand why people do it. I’m okay with just watching, though.” He then looks over at Charlie and asks, “Is Dean with you?”

“Yeah, getting our drinks.” She sighs. “He got into an argument with one of my students on Tuesday.” He raises an eyebrow at her before she continues, “Just trying to get him to relax.” She grins at the man and says, “I can take care of myself, you know?”

“Well, you know, he told me that he can’t help but be protective. You just gotta be patient.” Charlie nods at that.

Someone clears his throat, and the two look up to see Dean with his and Charlie’s drink. He glances at the man and raises an eyebrow. “Cas, you’re into karaoke?” he asks with an amused look on his face.

The man, Castiel, shakes his head. “No, I just needed to wind down. It’s been a rough day.”

Dean sighs and sits between him and Charlie, handing her drink to her. “And,” he takes a sip of his beer, “Stop talking about me. I know I got issues.” Charlie rolls her eyes and glances at the singer.

Meanwhile, Kali finally takes a drink and glances at the singer. She told her fiancé that she is just taking a drink and needed to be alone. This is her first night to herself in such a long time. She went to Princeton to study computer engineering. On her third year, however, she felt that being a doctor was more fulfilling. So she ended up graduating late. She moved to Columbus for medical school, and having finished that, went on to Residency training. It is rigorous. She hardly gets any sleep, and has had to stay overnight to care for patients. Thankfully, she is in her last year. But at what cost? She hardly sees her fiancé, and any relationship she had before him suffered (including with Gabriel) because of her calling to want to help people and save lives.

Speaking of which, she hears him come inside with someone else, arguing about something. She blinks and turns around, seeing Balthazar try to reason with Gabriel.

“I got tired of hearing that Seal song, so I needed to switch to something,” Balthazar says to Gabe, who can only glare at his cousin. “And anyway, the fuck is wrong with Sly? Come on, that was three days ago!”

“Because, you used my damn iTunes card to buy that song, and _then_ you set my alarm for a later time, and I was late for class!” Gabriel retorts.

Balthazar can only shrug at that. “And because of that, I’m going to starve.” He says this more like a statement than a question.

Gabriel nods with a smile. “Yeppers.”

Balthazar shakes his head. “Look, why don’t you sit down over at those tables and try to enjoy yourself while I buy us some drinks?” He gives Gabe a hopeful look.

Gabe however frowns and replies, “Why don’t I get myself a drink and you use your money to buy yourself food?” And at that he walks over to the bar. 

Balthazar rolls his eyes and just heads over to the tables. He can’t lie to himself about not being worried about being cut off, but he knows that Gabriel will come around eventually and forgive him. Because in the end, Balthazar is the only member in his family that still talks to Gabriel. And vice versa. So they have to put up with each other. His dad and Gabriel’s mother were siblings, and his dad died soon after he was born. Of course, Gabriel never knew about his older cousin until after he quit his job and left Stanford. Something about Balthazar getting tired of his mother and wanted to move to the States was what led him to his younger cousin. Of course, Balthazar did not think things through, and found himself staying at people’s places after he kept gambling away his money. At first they hit it off with partying and whatnot, but then Balthazar kept doing stupid stuff (like that time he gambled away Gabriel’s savings). Gabriel told him to go fuck himself and moved to Columbus. Balthazar eventually had to track him down, and as much as Gabriel hated it, he let him stay. Because Gabriel was the only family he had. And vice versa.

Of course he knew a long time about the great collapse of his cousin’s family and how utterly awful Gabriel’s dad was to his children and wife, because Mrs. Milton always wrote to her sister-in-law. So he wanted to be supportive to Gabriel. The problem is, he let drinking, women and gambling get into the way of things. But he tries to do better. He’s in therapy after all. 

Kali glances at Gabriel coming over to her, and she sighs and motions him to sit next to her. “What did Balthazar do this time?” she ask him.

Gabe shakes his head and rests his chin against the palm of his hand. “I hate Sly and the Family Stone. I’m starving him out.”

Kali can only blink at him. “I...What?”

Gabriel glances at her and raises an eyebrow, deciding to change the subject. “Bags around your eyes, Kali? How little sleep you’ve gotten this week?”

Kali frowns and turns away, “I don’t want to talk about it. One of my patients is dying.” Gabriel sighs and nods, reaching out to pat her back sympathetically.

“I’m sorry,” his voice softens. “I can’t really imagine how hard it must be for you.”

Kali took another drink and then looks over at her ex. “When you start taking care of the sickly cats and dogs, Gabriel, and you have to put them to sleep, you will know what it’s like.” She wasn’t trying to tell him he didn’t know thing about this situation (besides, Gabriel had to put a lot of his dogs to sleep because they were dying). No, this is simply her warning to him, that it will be tough and heartbreaking. You’re meant to save people’s and pets’ lives, and sometimes you cannot do that.

Gabriel understands why she said that though, and he nods. “I know,” he whispers. 

Kali nods at him. “Lola’s fine, though. Baldr had his daughter over to see her.”

Gabriel lights up at that. At least his Lola won’t be dying anytime soon. “How is that little girl?”

Kali gives her a smile. “She is precious. Starting pre-school soon.” She sips the last of her drink and continues, “Her mother and her girlfriend are doing well, too. The little one doesn’t understand it, but her parents try, you know?”

Gabriel nods. He then stands up and extends her hands. He says in a cheery voice, “Why don’t we go to those tables over there and watch these singers make an ass of themselves, eh?” He waggles his eyebrows. Kali shakes her head, wanting to remain here. But Gabe won’t hear it. “I’m not letting you wallow in regret by yourself, okay?” he speaks seriously. Kali sighs. She stands up and takes his hand. Maybe she can use some amusement.

Kali glances at the two new singers singing Frankie Valli and she can’t help but smile. “Remember when you tried to get me to sing with you?”

Gabriel grins. “And you told me to go fuck myself.” He sees Balthazar sitting at the front with some other people. 

As they walk closer, she has to ask, “Are you seriously going to literally starve him out?”

Gabriel sighs. Maybe it is wrong to starve out the only member of his family that didn’t make him want to shoot himself (despite the stupid things he does). “I dunno.” 

Balthazar turns around and then he looks over at Gabriel nervously, glancing back at the three people at the table next to him. He decides to greet Kali instead. “Kali, you look ravishing as ever.”

Kali smiles, uncomfortably. “Well, okay, I don’t like to be told that I’m ravishing by anyone other than Baldr, but thank you.”

Before Balthazar can say more, someone calls out, “Gabriel?” Gabe glances over at the three people next to them, and his eyes widen at the sight of Castiel, who can only frown at him.

“Oh shit,” was all Balthazar can mumble, as he turns his attention to the singers. Charlie and Dean glance over at Gabriel, and both of them are shocked (and dismayed on Dean’s part) to see him. Dean is also shocked that Kali is with him.

But first he glances at Cas. “You know this idiot?” he demands. 

Gabriel chuckles dryly and shakes his head. Let’s just make everything worse for Gabriel and include the Ken doll in his presence. “Do yourself a favor and go play in traffic, boychick.”

Dean has to restrain himself now. He gives out a smile and threatens, “You know what? Call me a boychick again and see what happens.”

“Dean, stop,” Cas speaks. He frowns at Gabriel then and continues to Dean, “He is my half-brother.”

Dean blinks at that. “Oh...” He then glances Kali, who by this point is at another table with Balthazar and Charlie, because ain’t no way they’re getting involved in this at all. “And _you_ know this idiot?” He gestures at Gabriel.

Kali rolls her eyes. “Please stop talking to me, Dean.”

Gabriel frowns at Castiel and he says in low voice, “The hell are you even doing here?”

Cas sighs. “I live here in this city. Just like you. You can’t make me leave.”

Gabriel gives him a menacing smile and walks closer. He leans down over him, and says in a disturbingly calm voice, “Then if you know what’s good for you, Castiel, don’t let me see you in my sights again. Because I will so rip you apart.” He then stands up. With his cheery voice he asks, “Tell me, how is your whore mother?” Dean blinks at that.

Cas frowns, and then he chuckles at such an insult, having pity on his older half-brother. “No, you tell me when will you learn that insulting my mother is never going to make things better?”

Before he can say more, Gabriel leans down again and sneers, “Go fucking shoot yourself.” He then happens to glance upwards and he freezes. He swallows and stands up. All he can whisper is, “Sam?”

The two other men turn around to see Sam blinking at Gabriel, but then a shocked Dean can only stammer, “S-Sam?!”

Sam blinks down at Dean. “Dean?” And just like the half-brothers, these two eventually frown at each other. Sam sighs. “What are you even doing here?”

Dean shakes his head. Because really, it’s way too hard to be civil towards someone who never showed up on their own dad’s funeral. Or would even contacted Dean at all. Seriously, he thought Sam had died or something. “Well I should say the same for you, Sam; I thought you were _dead_! You could have called me.”

And Sam, who has been clean for three years, scoffs. “Yeah, well, I didn’t need you on my ass, okay? I had too much to deal with.” He keeps himself from glancing at Gabriel, who can only swallow at the sight of him.

Dean raises an eyebrow at that. Because is this dude for real? “ _You_ had too much to deal with?” he says calmly. Then he snarls at him with, “You have any idea what I had to go through, with burying Dad by myself? _Fuck_ you!” Sam holds his breath at those words, looking away from his older brother. Having felt tremendous guilt over this, he does not want to be reminded of how angry Dean has been ever since. Dean meanwhile take a glimpse at Gabriel and says to Sam, “And _you_ know this dude too?!”

Sam finally glares at Gabriel and replies to his brother, “Yeah, and why do you care?”

“It’ll give Dean another reason to want to kill me,” Gabriel shrugs and mumbles to himself.

And the two brothers snap, “Shut up, Gabriel!”

Balthazar, Kali and Charlie can only watch the four men. Charlie whispers, “I will never give Gabriel a D on his homework assignment again.” To be honest, she felt guilty for telling Dean about that crude joke Gabe made because now the two will kill each other, especially if the older man keeps calling Dean “boychick.” She sighs and stands up. “I can’t take it anymore. I have to set things straight.” Balthazar and Kali can only stare at her.

Cas watches Charlie walk over to them, and he speaks, “Charlie, you shouldn’t get into this...”

“But I have to, Cas,” she responds. She then turns to Gabriel and sighs. “Okay, Gabriel can I say something?”

Gabe raises an eyebrow at her and gives her a half-smile. “Sure, Charlie.”

“Okay, look, I only gave you a D because I felt that you weren’t applying yourself. Like, okay, I understand you’re working and things like that, but with the right time management skills, you can do great.” She has used her hands, waving them about, to emphasize her point, and she feels so out of breath from saying all that. But Gabriel can only stare at her, because she lost him at “D.”

“I... what?”

She ignores Gabe’s response and turns to Dean. “And Dean, you’re like the big brother I never had and you’re wonderful. But, you know...” she doesn’t know how to explain this. “I just... feel that you’re overprotective.”

Dean raises an eyebrow at that. He opens his mouth to speak but then Charlie turns back to Gabriel.

“And Gabriel, yes, I told Dean about that crude joke, but it was only because I was so weirded out about it!”

And now _Gabriel_ opens his mouth to speak but then he feels Balthazar’s hand on his shoulder. “You know, maybe our Darling here has a point,” he says, shrugging at everyone with a smile. 

Sam at this point just wants to leave because this is just getting bizarre. It’s bad enough to see both his ex and his older brother, but for some reason those two want to kill each other over a girl, and Gabriel wants to kill this half-brother Cas dude, and he just wanted to have a small drink before he goes to his job tomorrow.

“I just think,” Balthazar continues, “that instead of chewing each other out and telling each other to, you know, _shoot_ ourselves, we should make fun of that man over there for attempting to sing Kool and the Gang, yes?”

Dean scrunches his face in confusion. “ _Who_?”

Balthazar then turns to Kali and motions her to come sit with them. “Hey, Kali, come over and party with us.”

Kali, however, grabs her sweater and her purse. “Actually, I’m going to go to bed. I’ve had enough drama for one day. I’ll call you and Gabe tomorrow.” And that she walks off, shaking her head. 

Dean watches her leave, and with a smile, he calls out, “Bye, Kali.” Gabriel slowly turns to Dean with a glare. And Dean raises an eyebrow at him. “What? I’m allowed to say goodbye.”

Balthazar shrugs and then says, “Well, at least we have Charlie and Sam over here, right? To keep us company?”

Actually, Sam had snuck out of there as well, when they were all glancing at Kali. Charlie glances at Dean with sympathy, and the latter can only shake his head. Gabriel had watched him go, not saying anything, because what _can_ he say? He knew Sam had an older brother, but Sam never talked about him except in cases of their early childhood. Too bad his older brother turned out to be this idiot.

Balthazar at the point feels desperate. At least with Sam here arguing with Dean, that kept Gabriel from lunging at Castiel. And if Gabriel lunges at Cas, then Dean will lunge at Gabriel, and it’s just going to be a bloody mess. So, he then turns to Charlie and sighs. “Please stay with us. I will literally buy you Grape Smirnoff.”

She blinks. “Okay...but—but only if it’s green apple?”


	3. Health Awareness Months

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd. Finally added more tags. Flashback in the beginning is all italics, and this chapter is mostly about Charlie.
> 
> All characters belong to Eric Kripke.

_Charlie’s apartment was small, outdated, and it looked like the landlord never had it cleaned up for someone to move in. She was surprised to see that the oven ran on gas. She sighed and went over to her new bedroom, and thank god she bought a new mattress for the bed, having thrown out the old one. She moved in three days ago, and she was still settling in. The second semester had just ended for college students, but she was blessed with a job as a teaching assistant at the Columbus State Community College. She just received an Associate’s Degree in computer science a year earlier. Despite this, and contrary to popular belief, it was tough getting a job with it. She was unable to transfer to a four-year college due to not having the money for it (her parents made too much money at the time), and she found herself working at fast food places before she moved to Columbus with this job._

_Charlie was originally from Topeka, Kansas, and one of the other reasons for moving out from there was because she just didn’t feel right there for many reasons. Columbus seemed more exciting, with the state politics. A staunch leftist, she made a mental note to one day walk by the building where Governor Kasich’s office was in, and flip the bird. She also wanted to check out the Statehouse._

_For now, she needed to unpack more things._

_It was a week since she last heard from her parents, so she decided to take a break and sit down on the couch. Dialing the number, she hummed to herself before someone picked up the phone._ “Hello?” _It was a male voice._

_Charlie beamed. “Hey, dad. I haven’ t heard from you and Mom in awhile.” She shifted around the couch so she was more comfortable. It was an old couch from a friend of her mother. Maybe after getting paid a few times, she could buy another one. “Is everything okay?”_

__“Everything is... everything is fine.”

 _“Oh, okay...” Her dad didn’t say anything else for a long time, and it was making her nervous. Then he said,_ “The doctor found a cyst in one of your mother’s ovaries yesterday.” _Charlie’s heart skipped a beat._ “We didn’t want to worry you. We’re trying to come up with some money before we remove it. But you know, it’s fine. Most women get these harmless things all the time.” _Charlie could only nod. She then heard her father ask,_ “How are you, sweetheart?” _She realized that her dad felt the need to change the subject. Mr. Bradbury had lost his job before Charlie had gotten her Associate’s Degree and had to work a new one that paid much less and offered no health insurance. Mrs. Bradbury recently had to go on disability after twenty-years in her job due to a car crash. So, things had already been extremely stressful in the family. Now_ this _?! The issue was financial as well._

_“Yeah I’m fine. Just getting used to this new city, you know?” She sighed, unable to stop talking about her mother. “I hope Mom will be okay, but you know?” She chuckled. “You’re right. Our grandmother had it and it was just a normal cyst, tight? Mom’ll be rid of it in no time.”_

 

It is a little over a year later since that conversation, and her mother has been on chemotherapy, battling out the awful side effects. By the time her parents could afford the surgery nine months ago, the doctor gave them the bad news: That the cyst was cancerous and it had spread. Whenever Charlie could, she would rush back to Topeka to see her. She can never understand it. Her grandmother never had the cancer and it doesn’t run in the family. Why is her mother stricken with it? Whenever she can afford to, she gave them money to help with co-pays.

She called her mother earlier today. Sadly, Mrs. Bradbury was irritable. Charlie tries to keep her mind off it while she shop for some groceries for her and Dean. She looks through her list. She is almost done. She just has to get one more thing—apple pie. Dean was not happy that she forgot pie last time, and the pie that this store sells is particularly very good. She doesn’t see the person in front of her stopping to look at some milk, and she inevitably bumps into said person with her buggy. She gasps, and the other person exclaims, “Hey!” Charlie immediately pulls back and blinks at the blonde girl staring at her, annoyed.

“I. Am. So. Sorry!” Charlie can only say.

The girl sighed. “It’s okay...” At that, Charlie immediately moved on, sighing. Usually when she does that, the other person isn’t so annoyed. She makes a mental note to _really_ watch where she was going. After all, she is in no rush.

___

Unfortunately, as Charlie glances around the parking lot while putting her groceries in the car, it turns out that the girl she bumped into _was_ in the hurry, and she had missed her bus. She sees the girl scream in frustration as the bus drives off, and she pulls out her phone to text someone, probably to ask someone to pick her up.

Maybe she should offer her a ride home. She is not sure the girl will accept, giving that she bumped into her earlier. The girl looks into her direction just then, and gives her the _why are you staring at me_ look. Charlie thinks that the girl must think she is a freak.

“Oh fuck it,” she mutters, as she closes the door and walks over to her. The girl blinks at her and sighs and she sits on the bench. Charlie decides to get to the point, “Hey, did you need a ride home?”

The girl’s facial expression softens. “It’s okay,” she replies. “My ride is coming soon. I’m just waiting for his rep—” Her phone buzzes just now, and she blinks, she pulls it out, and she sighs exasperatedly. “Looks like it’ll be an hour before either of them get here.”

Charlie nods. She knows exactly what it’s like to have to rely on the bus, or other people. It was a nightmare getting where she needed to be when she first moved, and as stated before, she had to rely on Dean while her car was fixed. “Well, I’ll take you home.”

The girl raises an eyebrow. “What if you live on the other side of town? I don’t wanna bother you...”

“Listen, I’m fine. My roommate’s car broke down right when mine started working again.” Charlie shrugs with a smile. “Though that’s his own stupid fault since he _insists_ on driving that old thing.” She rolls her eyes at the thought of the Impala. “And...and I like driving around.”

The girl sighs, possibly pondering the pros and cons of letting this woman take her home. She nods. “Okay.”

___

Turning on a song by the Chromatics in the car from her iPhone, Charlie doesn’t think it is too soon to introduce herself and why she is here in Columbus from Topeka. She also tells the girl that she is an only child and that she likes her job here. As she drives her down the road and into the neighborhood, she soon learns that the girl is named Joanna Harvelle, but she can just call her Jo. Then Charlie learns from Jo, possibly because she told the girl about herself, that she is from Nebraska, having run away three years ago because she was sick of her mother. And that her father died when she was little. Charlie feels a pang of sadness in her heart regarding Jo’s mother. Because yeah, she and Mrs. Bradbury would argue sometimes when she grew up, the worst of it regarding her sexuality, but the two have accepted each other’s flaws. She can’t understand how a mother and daughter can’t have a close relationship with each other. Jo isn’t a student, unlike her roommates, and she works at a strip club. She adds quickly that she only works as a bartender. She ain’t showing her pussy to no man. Not for money. The two laugh.

The neighborhood is pretty far from where Charlie lives, and she blinks at the nice little houses, with the picket fences, and people walking their dogs. It’s no wonder why Jo shares the rent with two other people. No way she can afford a seven-hundred dollar rent that _doesn’t_ include utilities all by herself. Also, the bus doesn’t directly stop at her house. She has to walk a few blocks. It must be tiring. But it must be nice to live here, unlike the apartment closer to downtown that she and Dean share.

Jo points to the house that she lives in, and Charlie pulls into the driveway. Jo then sighs, “Well, this is me.” She smiles, then. “And I really don’t know how I can thank you enough.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it!” Charlie grins. She then remembers that Jo has some groceries. “Oh hey! Lemme help with your groceries.” Jo ponders for a minute. She accepts the offer.

They take in the groceries into the kitchen from the back door, and when that was done, Jo tells her she can handle it from here. “Again, thank you so much.” She smiles.

“Oh it’s no trouble.”

“Jo? Whose car is in the driveway?” The two women look up to see Sam. He and Charlie then blink at each other, and she suddenly feels nervous. She knows that Dean and this man are estranged, and she doubts Sam would want anything to do with anyone who talks to Dean, right?

“Oh, that’s me!” she exclaims. “So, so, sorry, I’ll be out of the way.” And at that, she quickly walks off. Sam can only raise an eyebrow at her, who gets into a car with a nervous wave.

He does recognize her, being one of Dean’s friends. But he shrugs. “I think she’s afraid of me,” he says to Jo as Charlie drives off.

“Well, someone had to take me home. Kevin said that neither of you would be available,” she retorts, walking back inside with Sam following her.

He sighs. “I’m sorry.” He then sees the groceries, and sighs again, walking over to put away some of the stuff, “You really could just ask us if you need to go somewhere. I don’t like you riding the bus all of the time.’’

Jo nods taking the milk into the refrigerator. “Yeah, well, I need to be more independent.”

Back on the road, Charlie shakes her head at herself. And it isn’t just because she saw Sam. She’s starting to believe that maybe he and Jo are dating, and she once again shakes her head at herself. It’s always the straight ones she finds herself taking a liking to. Not good.

___

At the community college a few days later, Charlie looks through her three copies of flyers to put up on the bulletin at the commons. It’s somewhat hot outside, with little breeze, and she doesn’t want to go back outside. She cannot wait until the day is over with. She does not think it should be hot in September. And anyway, September is also Ovarian Cancer Awareness month, and while it was good to be distracted from thinking about her mother’s illness, it felt good to spread awareness. Someone in this campus has had a relative that may have had the cancer and either survived or didn’t. Maybe the relative is a very close relative. Next month is Breast Cancer Awareness month, and there will be tons of flyers about that.

Charlie is a little vexed about breast cancer awareness, because she feels ovarian cancer doesn’t receive enough attention. But many times she feels guilty for feeling that way and decides that she’s only feeling this way because her mother is practically dying.

She staples a flyer to the bulletin wall when Gabriel walks by and raises an eyebrow at her. He just left his College Writing class, and he just wants to get the hell out of the campus so he can get ready to head for his job. But there is Charlie. It wouldn’t hurt to talk to her for a minute, despite the fact that she gave him another D on his homework assignment.

“Charlie!” He calls out with a grin as he walks closer to her. “How are you today, kiddo?”

Charlie blinks at the sight of her student, and she smiles. “Gabe! How are you?”

He sighs, leaning against the bulletin wall. “I’m good. Leaving one hell-hole to another, I guess.”

“Well, tomorrow’s another day.”

Gabriel nods before he glances at the flyer she had just out up. “Oh, I forgot September is the month for that,” he murmurs, gesturing at the flyer. Charlie looks up at it and nods.

She stands up and states, “Every month is awareness month when your mother is going through chemo for it.”

Gabriel’s facial expression falls. “Oh...oh wow Charlie, I’m sorry.”

Charlie grins, albeit sadly. “It’s okay.”

Gabriel nods and sighs. “My, um, my mother died from breast cancer four years ago.” He doesn’t know why he said that. It isn’t the same disease.

But Charlie looks at him with sympathy. “At least she is at peace.”

He shrugs. “I didn’t even know she had it until I got the call that she was dead. I’m pretty estranged from family.”

Charlie nods. “I’m sorry to hear.” Gabriel shrugs and just happens to glance at the clock. He blinks.

“Holy shit!” He turns to her and smiles. “Sorry to break up our talk, kid, but I gotta run.” He walks backwards. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

Charlie waves. She sighs as she watches him walk off. The first exam is at the end of the month, and every time she grades his homework assignments, she has to give him a C or a D. If this keeps up, how will he pass the class? And he needs this class for his major, right? She has little doubt that he will fail the first exam. He is on his way out of the door.

“Gabe!” She calls out. Gabe stops and turns around, blinking at Charlie running towards him. She stops to catch her breath, before she gives him a small piece of paper. “I’m holding tutoring sessions for our class,” she speaks, still out of breath.

Gabriel raises an eyebrow at this. “Oh, um, okay?”

“I think it will be beneficial,” and she pauses before adding, “Sometimes Nguyen is hard to understand, and people do better when I help them, you know?”

Gabriel looks on at the piece of paper again before sighing. “I gotta work on those nights, though.”

Charlie certainly understands that. “Well, think about it. And if you change your mind, you know where it’ll be, okay?” At that, she walks off, back to her mission to spread awareness.

Gabriel sighs. Having to call off work means loss of income. But failing a required course is just as bad. And after all, he’s doing something to better himself. He knows he cannot continue to fuck up his life. He looks at the paper one last time before he quickly walks to his car.

Time to go to work.

___

By the weekend, Gabriel has decided to go on to the math tutoring session after all, and he makes a note on his calendar for the date it will take place. Besides wanting to do well in the course, it will also serve as a distraction. Every two days a week were spent with Sam in the same room, and it was getting to the point where Gabriel is beginning to feel miserable. It’s only been three weeks, but by that point it is too late to drop the class. And Schumacher explained that their big writing project with be a project for two. And she will assign partners. Because, apparently it’s better to work with someone you’re uncomfortable with.

He decides he will call off work for that date. Working as a cook doesn’t help regarding his past with Sam, not at all.

At the apartment, the television has gone black for about five minutes before Balthazar has had enough, and he decides to notify Gabriel about it. Gabriel, who fell asleep in his bedroom looking through his math book, groans at the banging on his bedroom door, and he slowly sits up, still in his uniform from work. He walks slowly to his door and opens it, glaring at Balthazar, who simply shrugs.

“Your satellite dish isn’t working again,” he speaks.

Gabriel rolls his eyes. “What am I supposed to do about it?” he asks with a flat voice, as he walks out of his room and into the living room to see what he’s talking about.

Balthazar follows Gabriel and sits on the couch, while the latter scratches the back of his head, looking at the blackened screen.

“You couldn’t just call them?”

“I don’t know the number, Gabby, and you know your DirectTV box more than me, so....” Then Balthazar leans back with his arms folded. “Someone said that Steve Buscemi is gonna shoot Michael Pitt, and I kinda wanna see it because I _hate_ Michael Pitt and his character.”

“I can’t stand his fucking DSLs.” Gabriel takes out his phone from his pocket, relieving it is still intact after he had been sleeping on it. “Should just quit acting and go into gay porn.”

Balthazar raises an eyebrow at that. “What does internet speed have to do with gay porn?”

Gabriel shakes his head at his cousin before he dials the number for DirectTV. “Dick-sucking lips, Balthaz.”

“And I regret asking.”

Gabriel listens to the prompts on the automated system before pressing the number for his best choice. He furrows his eyebrows at Balthazar, as he walks over to the television to grab the bill that contains his account number for DirectTV. “What? Lots of women have distracting DSLs too.”

Balthazar nods, considering this. He remembers a few women he’s been with. “True.”

“Yeah, like Kali.” Gabriel winks at him. “She had the best, Balthaz.” Balthazar immediately groans. He does not want to hear about Gabriel’s past with Kali. The shorter man hears someone pick up the phone, and he immediately clears his throat. “Hello?”

At the other end of the line, the person who picked up the phone is none other than Sam. And he tiredly speaks, “DirectTV technical support, this is Sam. May I have your account number to better assist you?”

Back at the apartment, Gabriel freezes, immediately recognizing Sam’s voice, and he swallows, pacing back and forth in his head to seriously do something. Because the last thing he needs is to talk to this man over the phone about his satellite dish messing up again. So he hangs up and tosses the phone onto the couch.

And back at the technical support department, Sam blinks and raises an eyebrow. “H-hello?” The screen eventually shows that the person hung up.

At the apartment, Balthazar slowly raises an eyebrow at Gabriel’s strange action. “Um, what happened?”

Gabriel sighs and lulls his head over to Balthazar. “Can you dial the number... with your phone?”

Balthazar simply stares at his cousin. “And... why do you want me to do that?”

Despite Balthazar being oblivious to his cousin’s past in Stanford, Gabriel can’t believe he has to explain himself. He sits himself on the sofa chair and responds, mentally exhausted, “Just dial the fucking number.”

Gabriel says the phone number to his cousin, and then the latter sits and waits for the prompt for technical support. Balthazar sighs after the recording says that it will take up to five minutes for the next available representative. He watches Gabriel brush his hair back with both hands and sighing miserably. He wishes Gabe hadn’t returned to school. He is so much more tired and irritable, and Balthazar misses getting drunk with Gabriel and having them both receives lap dances from strippers. It’s Saturday night, and they used to do this stuff. Now Gabriel is looking through his math book. The truth is, Gabriel has always been a little irritable, but now there’s the exhaustion and his withdrawing from the world that’s accompanying his mood. The withdrawal from the world has become even worse ever since that night at the bar where they ran into Castiel.

But Balthazar knows it can’t be just because of Castiel. After all, he always talks about how horrible his mother was and as much as he hates his half-brother, he never lets that get to him.

“Waitaminute....”

Gabriel looks up at him. “What?”

Balthazar stands up and points at his cousin. “That giant dude, Sam. He was on the other line and that’s why you want me to call this number.”

How was Gabriel supposed to know Sam works for technical support for DirectTV?! “You know what? I’m not talking about this,” he mutters.

Balthazar was right then. He gives out an exasperated sigh and rolls his eyes. “Well fine, but don’t pull me into your ex-lover nightmare thing you got going on.”

Gabriel narrows his eyes at him. “Balthazar, stop!” He snaps.

Just them the phone clicks and a woman speaks, _“DirectTV, this is Jan.”_ As Balthazar speaks to her, it soon becomes clear to Gabriel that the person on the other end of the line isn’t Sam, and he steps up and snatches the phone from his cousin, who can only protest.

“Hi, Jan, this is Gabriel,” he speaks with a hint of charm to his voice. After a pause, he nods with a smile, “I’m doing just lovely, sweetheart. Do you want the account number?”

As it turns out, they have to call in a technician to actually replace the dish. Why? A squirrel ate into the wire outside.


	4. Haven't Changed a Damn Bit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentions of suicide and natural selection. Mentions of statutory rape.
> 
> As always, all major characters belong to Eric Kripke and CW.

Another Thursday, another therapy session. Balthazar waits for Doctor Sharla, sighing as he glances at some of the other clients in the building, some of them actually watching the Andy Griffith Show in the television near the corner of the ceiling. Balthazar tries not to look at the three vending machines, because he has no change. But he is so hungry. He could be sleeping on the couch. He has, however, made a commitment to get better. Every couple of minutes, each therapist comes out from the door to call for somebody.

Of course, Sharla is always late. It is three minutes past eleven. She has been extremely later though, so Balthazar is used to it. He is forever thankful of her for being patient and caring. Nothing like the last one, who was extremely judgmental. He first considered therapy when his gambling problem was way out of hand. As stated before, he gambled away Gabriel’s savings a long time ago. Then, recently he did that to someone else. So Balthazar went into rehab for this, and he goes to therapy as a way to keep himself from spiraling down that path again. But that was the only thing he wanted to fix. No way in hell would he give up alcohol and women.

Someone comes out of the door and Balthazar blinks at the sight of his cousin Castiel, leaning against the counter to talk to one of the receptionists. He sees the younger man smile faintly, and he seems to be enjoying himself in his profession. Balthazar notes how comfortable he is with this particular receptionist. Is Castiel dating? Maybe Balthazar can hook him up or something. In a way, Castiel is only his cousin by marriage, because as Gabriel alluded to back at Pam’s bar, Castiel has a different mother. That doesn’t stop Balthazar from attempting to be close to him, even if they are not related by blood. Castiel happens to glance at him and he smiles faintly. Balthazar waves.

The truth is, he and Castiel have known each other for over a year now, and Castiel was very aware of Gabriel being here in Columbus, having asked Balthazar about him sometimes.

During Balthazar’s talk with Cas a week after the brothers’ confrontation at Pam’s Bar, Cas can only say that, “Gabriel hasn’t changed a damn bit.” He last saw Gabriel at his older brother’s mother’s funeral, and he was not happy to see him. Castiel understood. The man had just lost his mother, after all, and Cas is a product of some of the actions that helped tear Gabriel’s family apart when they were young. But even Balthazar knows that Gabriel’s anger is misplaced. The only crime Castiel committed was being born to a sixteen-year-old girl that fell in love with Mr. Milton.

Still, Balthazar will not get involved in trying to bring the two together as brothers. It is not in his place. Castiel thankfully never really asked him to, as they both know it is up to Gabriel himself. Balthazar found out that Cas had tried to at the funeral and Gabriel had told him to fuck off. The. Balthazar found out things got worse when Mr. Milton showed up, refusing to acknowledge Castiel as his son and ridiculing Gabriel for his gay lifestyle. Balthazar asked Castiel one day how was Dana Novak doing. He told him (for all the woman had been though) she was fine, although she would badger him about wanting a granddaughter now.

The last time he spoke with Gabriel, the younger man was freaking about the exam he just took a day before. Balthazar told him that he probably did okay. He knew the man had another exam too. He does not need Gabe worrying about seeing his half brother.

“Balthazar?” The female voice snaps him from his thoughts, and he smiled warmly at the sight of Sharla. He stands up and nods his head at Castiel before he walks in with Sharla, greeting her. Another Thursday, another therapy session. Here we go.

___

The next day, at the retirement home’s kitchen, Chuck Shurley is currently chopping some red onions. He is sniffing, and his eyes burn; he curses at himself for forgetting to put on contacts, having to wear eyeglasses instead. And eyeglasses do not do a damn thing for your eyes. He has had to chop onions lately, and he suspects that the boss hates him. Thankfully he is almost done. He is one of the temps, has been for several months. He does not know if he will ever be hired in as a full time employee. As a temp, he does not get any health benefits, and he could be sent home if he is not needed. It frustrates him, but he feels that he should be grateful to find work at all.

He loves the senior citizens that he serves, though. They have such interesting stories about their long lives, and some of them that he has come to get to know have no regrets as they enter their final years. One of his favorites was about a woman who worked for Goodyear during World War II in Akron. He always thought they were kind to him, except for those who are diabetic or lactose intolerant. Gabriel, his occasional superior, would make a cruel remark and Chuck would wonder why he would say such words.

Speaking of which, Gabriel saunters into the kitchen, having clocked in with his uniform on. Usually he is grumpy and frowning. Today, Chuck can see him smiling. Maybe the man has finally gotten laid. He knew Kali (actually, Chuck introduced the exes to each other) was the last person Gabriel had a serious relationship with, and even then it was just sex. “Good afternoon Shurley!” Gabe beams, putting on his apron and walking into the hand-washing sink. “Still crying like a little bitch about those onions?”

Chuck rolls his eyes at him. “You seem like you’re in a good mood. You’re not yelling at me about that this time.” He sniffles then, setting the knife down, _finally_ done with those damn onions. He hopes Gabriel will sauté them. “You finally got a new girl?”

Gabriel raises an eyebrow at that as he lathers his hands with soap. “Um no...?” After a pause he smiles and says, “I got a B on my math exam.”

Now it is Chuck who simply raises an eyebrow at him and then he grins. “That’s frigging fantastic! You said you were struggling with that class. What about the other one, the animal biology one?”

“I don’t know yet.” Gabriel then rinses his hands, sighing. He thinks he did okay on that exam. After all, he has invested himself in those assignments in that class than the others. He has gotten along with the professor, staying after class to see if the man can explain more about a particular part of his lecture. When he has time, he watches Youtube videos about vets taking care of sick pets. This is what he wants to do. “I think I did well on that too. I’ve been doing well on the assignments, after all.” He smirks, drying off his hands. “I need to celebrate.”

“You should,” Chuck agrees, taking off his gloves and then his glasses. He walks over, grabs some paper towels and wets it with cold water for his eyes. “What will you do?”

Gabriel steps away from the man and leans against the wall, shrugging. “Dunno.” He glances at Chuck watering his eyes and sighs. “Tell you what? Why don’t you work on some other stuff while I sauté the onions today?”

Chuck’s eyes widen at that, relieved. Granted, it will still affect his eyes, but he will at least be a little further away from the grill. “Seriously?!”

“Yeah, now hurry up and get out of here before I change my mind.” Chuck grins before he washes his hands again.

After he dries his hands, the temp replies, “Will do, Mr. Milton.” At that he walks off. Gabriel smiles at himself, moving away from the wall and walking towards the tray of chopped onions. Maybe things will finally look up for him, and he can get the hell out of food service.

___

The next night, Gabriel reluctantly let Balthazar talk him into going to Pam’s so he can have some good time. Balthazar obviously wants to go to pick up a chick. Gabriel honestly just wanted to stay home and watch something, “something “meaning “gay porn.” But it would not hurt to get piss-fucking drunk on that sweet ass cherry drink he had one time.

Gabriel is turning on the stove light when he hears someone knock on the door. He walks over, thinking it could be the landlord (at nine in the evening?), and opens the door. To his surprise (and relief because it is not the landlord), he sees a grinning Chuck and a faintly smiling Kali. Chuck is carrying a paper box. “Happy B-on-a-math-exam!” the guy beams.

Kali simply adds, “Thought we might celebrate.” Gabe can only blink at that before he steps aside to let his friends in as she continues, “Algebra is not easy.”

“You two really shouldn’t have, thank you.” He then glances at the box and realizes it is cake. “Who bought that?”

“I did,” Kali replies, taking off her jacket. Gabe rolls his eyes. He hates cake made from some store. It was probably Giant Eagle.

“You went ahead and bought cake from Giant Eagle. Seriously, baby, if I wanted cake, I’d just bake one myself,” he responds, wagging his eyebrows, while Chuck looks on at the two, setting the cake down on the coffee table.

Kali narrows her eyebrows at her ex. She obviously does not like being told that she has pretty much wasted money on this cake, and she retorts, “Then give the damn cake to Balthazar, for god’s sake. You’re always so ungrateful.” She pauses. “And stop calling me that.” Gabriel smirks; he may be happy for her and Baldr, but he loves calling her “baby.” It pisses her off and it is hilarious.

Balthazar steps out of the room and blinks as he sees Kali and Chuck. Kali simply raises an eyebrow at him, and Chuck smiles. Balthazar leans against the doorframe. “Oh how lovely; my cousin’s friends are here.” It almost sounded like sarcasm, and it is, but at least Chuck is around. He likes Chuck.

“Hey, Thaz,” Chuck replies. He then looks at the man, who is dressed just as snazzy as Gabriel. He raises an eyebrow. “Where are you guys going?”

“To Pam’s Bar so I can get fucking wasted,” Gabriel replies, glancing between him and Kali. “Maybe you two can come along with us?”

Chuck grins. “Sure.”

“Gabriel, we go to that place nearly every night we have time,” Kali speaks. “And this is my only night to have some fun, so I think...” she shrugs, sitting down, “maybe we should do something different.” She glances at Balthazar, hoping he has some ideas.

Balthazar simply shrugs and Gabriel rolls his eyes. He really does not have time for this either. It is just the bar. Maybe someone has awesome songs for karaoke, and/or the singers coming in will entertain the house. He does not see why it is a bad idea to go.

Then he remembers Castiel. Yes, he might show up again. He does not need that. “Fine, what do you suggest Kal?” he asks dryly.

“We can go to the movies?” Chuck suggests and shrugs with a smile.

Gabriel simply stares at him before shaking his head. God that man is such a fucking virgin. He simply points at the temp. Chuck needs to know this. “You need to get a stripper to dry-hump your dick.” Chuck rolls his eyes at that.

“Think you’ve been watching _Showgirls_ too much.” Are strippers allowed to dry-hump a client? He is pretty sure that only happened in that film.

Balthazar has been listening at the three before he smiles and walks over to them, clearing his throat. “So, why don’t we just go to a strip club?” He grins and extends his arms out to them, waiting for them to cheer at the idea. Now, the other three can only blink at the older man, and soon Balthazar can only guess that they think he has lost his mind. However, Gabriel’s lips curl into a smile.

“That actually isn’t a bad idea, Thaz,” Gabe replies, cocking his head to the side with a faint smirk.

Kali scoffs, both amused and disgusted. “You’re joking.”

He turns to her. “Oh c’mooon! It’s a grand idea.” He leans closer to her and speaks more quietly. “I’ll pay for your lap-dance.” He grins at her, and Kali stares at him like he has lost his goddamn mind. And when it soon becomes clear that Kali will not give in, he cocks his head over to face Chuck. “Chuuuck? Think it’s time to pop that strip-club cherry.” Balthazar chuckles.

“Meh, I dunno,” Chuck hesitates. “I don’t want some poor girl giving me a lap-dance. Kinda degrading.” He glances at Balthazar. “They’re not gonna dry-hump me, are they?”

Balthazar thinks this is a stupid question. “I...I dunno?”

“Not if you don’t want them to,” Gabe replies.

“Okay, I guess I’ll go,” Chuck says.

And Gabriel stands up and claps his hand once. “Ha!” He points at Kali. “Three against one, baby!”

“I will seriously have Nancy shiv you,” Kali replies, referring to a college friend that _hated_ Gabriel.

“Girl, please. That butch will never lay a finger,” Gabriel counters. He sighs and leans forward, now serious. “C’mon. You’re one of the reasons I’ve actually done okay in that exam, and you’ve been so supportive. It’s my night, and I want you hear with me and Thaz and Chuck. It’s men’s night, but you’re one of the guys.” Kali simply stares at him, not amused. “And like I said, I’ll pay for your lap-dance.”

Kali scoffs. “I’m not getting a lap-dance, goddammit!”

Despite this, Kali has decided to tag along, and she is driving them all in her car. Apparently they may have only needed her as a designated driver. She can live with that. Seriously though, “Baldr will never hear the end of it,” she mutters as Balthazar makes a very unfunny joke in the backseat. For some reason, though, Chuck is having a ball.

___

The place is pretty packed tonight, with stage lights, lit stages, lighting from the two bars and neon signs illuminating the otherwise dark strip club. A couple of disco balls hang over from the ceiling bring dancing lights across the place as well. Some of the dancers are fully nude on the blue and pink-lit stages, gyrating their hips to Flo-Rida singing about apple-bottom jeans. Others are only scantily dressed doing the same thing, around the poles. Between all of this, and then having to see strippers taking their clients to private rooms or give them lap dances publically—and let’s not forget drunken men hitting on her and fighting each other, Jo is _so_ over tonight. Had some douchebag call her a slut because he wanted more Jack Daniels, even though he has had way more than enough.

Then one of the strippers screamed at her too.

To be honest, Jo has been searching for another job. She can no longer deal with this, plus the fact that her tips highly depend on whether the place is packed. It does not help that Sam is now employed only part-time since he started school again. Their other roommate, Kevin, has a part time job too, but he mostly uses scholarship money to help with rent. Work is slow on week nights but Jo generally makes more money on the weekends. One Saturday night, she made almost six hundred dollars. The issue is not so much the money (until Sam started going part-time) as it is really the atmosphere and how she is treated.

Good, that damn Flo-Rida song is done playing. They play that shit every night. It is almost one in the morning and she is glad her shift is almost over.

Meanwhile, Balthazar (with his sunglasses) has his arms around both Chuck and Gabriel’s shoulders, admiring the atmosphere as they walk in. Kali almost grimaces. “Gentlemen, this is my favorite home.” Chuck simply raises an eyebrow, amused.

“Why do you insist on wearing that?” he can only ask.

“Because, Chuck, I am absolutely amazing.”

“I’m gonna find us a place to sit,” Gabriel speaks as he walks off, Kali following him.

Balthazar motions Chuck to follow him to one of the bars. There is Jo handing someone a bottle of beer before she glances at Balthazar coming to her. She smiles. He has always been one of the better regulars. “Hi, Balthazar,” she waves as they sit on the stools. She has to be just a little bit flirtatious to the customers, but Balthazar has so far been well behaved towards her. She notices a nervous Chuck and asks, “And who’s your friend?”

“Well Jo, this is Chuck,” he replies and turns to Chuck. “Say hi to Jo, Chuck.” Chuck nervously waves. Balthazar glances at her and smiles, jerking his thumb towards the younger man. “We’re popping his, um, what did Gabe call it? His strip-club cherry.”

Jo can only stare at him before she chuckles warily at that. “I see. Well, are you getting the usual?”

Gabriel eventually finds a spot near one of the stages. Kali eventually joins him. As she sits down next to him, Kali can only raise an eyebrow at Gabriel grinning at the totally naked girl dancing on the poles. Kali rolls her eyes, and Gabe manages to catch that. “What?”

Kali’s eventual faint smile is coy. “You haven’t changed a damn bit,” she replies, shaking her head.

Gabriel smiles genuinely back at her. “You say that every time you’re with me.”

“Yes, like that time you once cheated on me with one of the dancers,” she says, rolling her eyes.

Gabriel deserves being reminded of that. “Yep, I’m still an asshole.” Chuck arrives then with a bottle of beer and a bottle of peach Smirnoff. He hands the latter the Gabriel who can only raise an eyebrow. “Okay, how did you know I like this?” He then looks closer at Chuck. “Don’t tell me you spent money on this for me,” especially since Chuck is only a temp worker.

“I didn’t,” Chuck replies. “Balthazar paid that for us because he said something along the lines of you being totally gay, so he got this for you.” He shrugs, mentally wondering why he needed to explain that. It would explain Gabriel though.

“I’m not gay!” Gabriel protests.

Chuck doubts that, gesturing at the bottle. “You’re drinking a peach Smirnoff....”

A scantily clad woman then walks over to the three, clearing her throat. The three glance up at her, and once Chuck realizes it is a stripper, he gulps. She turns to Kali and smiles. “Are these the guys that want a dance?” Gabriel blinks at the woman, opened mouthed, and then he blinks at Kali, who can only smile coyly at her. He blinks back at the woman. How in the fuck?

She whips out a one hundred dollar bill and hands that to the woman. “It’s this one’s special night for doing well on a math exam,” she replies, patting Gabriel on the shoulder, “but yes, Chuck and another one would like you to entertain them too.” Chuck simply sits down as Balthazar returns. And Balthazar grins at the sight of the woman.

“Well, hellooo, Ginger,” he remarks in a low voice, sitting down next to Chuck, who can only raise his eyebrow at the man’s demeanor. Chuck really cannot get it at all. Oh well.

“It’s Mandy.” She gives a seductive smile, cocking her head to the side. Balthazar thrills at this. She’s a fucking ginger and her name is fucking Mandy!

Gabriel finally turns to Kali, unable to comprehend why she would do this for him. “I can’t believe you.”

“So thank me, shut up, and enjoy yourself,” Kali replies before scooting away from the men.

Gabriel smirks at Mandy, whips out a ten-dollar bill and replies softly, “I will, thank you, Kali.”

Mandy walks towards him, standing over him with his knee between hers, and Gabriel leans back, smiling seductively. “Three minutes,” she simply says to Gabriel.

And Gabriel slips his hands into his pockets, looking up and down at her. “Well Mandy, that’s all I need.”

Chuck blinks at this and then glances at Balthazar. “Is she gonna dry hump him?” he whispers. Balthazar can only slowly turn to Chuck at such a stupid question.

___

Meanwhile, Jo tries her hardest to ignore the asshole trying to get her to leave with him while she is cleaning a small glass. He asks once more and Jo simply turns to him, about ready to tell him to go fuck himself. However, she sees someone walking towards them and she smiles. Thank fucking god. “Sam!” The man turns around and sees Sam with a half- empty bottle of Coors raising his eyebrow at him and Jo. And Jo then continues, “Sam, my _boyfriend_!” She does her best to emphasize the word. “So good of you to come.”

The man then looks over at Sam again before he simply walks off, apologizing to _him_. Jo smirks at this. Sometimes they would pretend to be a couple so the men would leave her alone. Some of the strippers would then be jealous of her for having such a giant (who probably has a thick cock) for a boyfriend. It still sucks that they have to do this to get men to stop hitting on her. Jo can handle herself most of the time. Sometimes, however, some of the men get so drunk, unsatisfied with the lap dances. Sam sighs and shakes his head, sitting down on a stool. “Could’ve beat his ass if you wanted me to,” he mutters.

“No, I’m fine,” Jo replies, cleaning out another small glass. “It’s been a really shitty night. Some asshole kept calling me a fucking slut, and then some slut yelled at me for spilling something at her.” She shakes her head and looks up at Sam, pleadingly. “I’m fucking done with this place. I’m so sick of Flo-Rida!”

“Well, I told you to apply at my job.” He examines the place; a woman twerking her ass at a client catches his eyes, and he turns back to Jo. “Seriously, Jo, you’re better than this.”

“Damn right I am.” She sighs as Sam takes a sip of his beer that he got from Jack, the other bartender. Thank god for Jack and Coors. “Well, just give me five minutes, and I’ll be ready to go,” and at that, she walks off to serve someone else. Sam nods and sighs as he takes another sip of his beer.

He is tired, having just got off from work himself. He still needs time for his homework assignments. Sam, who had aspired to be a lawyer when he was just eighteen and ready to change the world for the better, is back in school for engineering—electro-mechanic engineering to be exact. He figured that he would have a better chance at getting a better job with this, and he generally likes fixing things from the air conditioner to Kevin’s laptop. A neighbor once asked him to fix the stove too. It would be better to have a certificate so he can get more offers. Despite this, his love for law has not died. As a matter of fact, in his spare time, he likes to read the books he bought during his years in Stanford. Civil law is his favorite. He once voluntarily did jury duty for a case involving a former employee who was fired for his fibromyalgia. Unfortunately, the poor man lost the case.

He is okay with his life. He made mistakes that cost him his future, yes. But he knows there is nothing he can do but just move on and be a better person. He is also happy to be the “big brother” for his roommates, having been the younger brother. He tells Kevin not to make the same mistakes he did, and he is fiercely protective of both him and Jo. But he does not want to be so overbearing, not like the way Dean and his dad were towards him. After all, that is why he ran away to Stanford in the first place.

Speaking of which, it would be best to avoid his older brother, four years his senior, as much as possible. Dean, the only friend he ever had in his childhood, may never forgive him for what happened regarding their dad.

He happens to look at one area of the strip club. And there is a stripper, taking off her top piece and showing her breasts to the man in the middle, while the other two hoot and holler for him. He takes a closer look at them and his heart begins to beat rapidly. Because the man on the left, sticking a five-dollar bill in her thong string, is none other than Gabriel. Yes, not only is it Gabriel, but he is sticking money into that girl’s thong like he is entitled to it.

Seriously?!

Sam immediately turns away, old hurt feelings creeping up at him. They are starting to creep up at him each time he sees the older man, and each time, he has to close his eyes to block the memories away. He shakes his head when he realizes it is not working this time, and he eventually steps off of the stool and walks off, not needing to see that awful smirk Gabe had on his face.

___

Sam storms into the restroom, hoping to god that he is alone. If not, he will just have to stay in the stalls, which is the last thing he wants to do in a seedy place like this. As he leans against the counter with his beer at his side, the purple and white lights illuminating the seemingly classy restroom full of black stalls is calming him a little bit. But he is still angry.

Gabriel has not changed a damn bit. And it hurts to see that girl with him and his friends, taking her clothes off so Gabe can get himself off for the night. He remembers the nights when Gabriel would take him out to these places, even though he never felt up to it. Sam would rather be at Gabriel’s place, or maybe a gay bar. They never went to one because Gabriel was in he closet and he did not want to go there. Unfortunately, at a strip club, a drunken and stoned Gabriel would take the _girl_ home after her shift is over, leaving Sam on his own, and having to have his dorm mate pick him up (because Gabriel drove him there). And other times, he would find out that the reason Gabriel never asked him over on some nights at all was because he had a stripper or some girl over with him. Only when Sam reluctantly let him have it about how he kept leaving him alone at the bars because he preferred pussy to him, would the older man apologize. Because he would “forget.” But he never stopped doing that to him.

Why hook up with someone when you’re ashamed to show yourself with that person? Do you want him or the satisfaction of people knowing you don’t actually like dick?

Now these memories are only upsetting Sam more, but he knows he needs to save face once he steps out. He cannot have Jo see him like this, and have her worry about him. She has enough on her sleeve. So, he takes a deep breath and drinks the last of his beer. He takes off his jacket, and rolls up his sleeves and turns on the water. He leans down and splashes some of the water from the faucet to his face. It got rid of the stinging in his eyes a little, and he turns off the faucet, takes some paper towels.

Suddenly, the door opens, and it is none other than Gabriel, whose eyes widen at the sight of Sam far back. Sam swallows, and stands up, frowning. Gabriel swallows and takes a step back. He can piss later. He really should have brought Chuck with him, but that man is having a ball with Mandy. Gabriel averts his eyes from his ex, trying to find words. “Um, I’ll just...I’ll just leave,” he speaks quietly, his voice low as he jerks his thumb toward the door. He opens the door.

“You’ll just continue to run away from your problems, will you?” Sam doesn’t even realize he had said that, until after he sees Gabriel freeze, shut the door and lull his head at him, frowning. Sam really was not going to say anything. But well... he has the older man’s attention now. It has been too much having to bottle up what he felt about Gabe. Maybe he will feel better after this, and he can move on with his life, even if he still has to see this asshole two days a week.

And as for Gabriel, those words have cut into him. Yes, of course he is running away from this problem, like he runs away from all of his problems, because he cannot bear it. There is nothing wrong with that. That is how some people cope, and he should not have to be judged for that. “So I run away from my problems,” he retorts, not realizing he is walking closer to Sam. The younger man is such a giant; Gabe is afraid the guy might snap him in half. But Sam would not do that to anyone unless it was self-defense. He knows that much about Sam. “But since you and I are both here, Sammy—”

“Don’t you ever call me that!” Sam snaps, pointing at him. He speaks more softly, though the anger in his voice hasn’t died down, “You have no right to call me that, not anymore.” He really wants to leave. At first he was okay with telling this man exactly how he feels, but the resentment and rage building up in him is too much. It is over eight years worth of resentment and hurt, and he is afraid of going too far.

Gabriel sighs, shaking his head. He slides his hands into his jean pockets, trying to make himself a little less uncomfortable. “Okay, fine. _Sam Winchester_ , since you and I are both here,” he pauses, walking past Sam before he stops to face him again, “we might as well face this problem head on, okay? So why don’t you say what the fuck you need to say to me, so you and I can move the fuck on, and so I can pass this class.” His voice has become harsher towards the end. And can anyone blame him? He is tired of all this. He runs away from his problems, but when he _is_ ready to face a problem, he wants it to be resolved _now_.

Sam briefly scowls and turns away, shaking his head again. “Okay, well, um,” he speaks calmly, and he clears his throat, “let’s start with _fuck you_ , okay?” He turns to Gabriel and sighs before adding, “You are like the biggest piece of shit I know.”

Gabriel swallows at that. The sooner Sam says what he needs the say, the sooner they can both leave. “Go on...”

“I mean, all you do is use and hurt people,” Sam continues, moving away from Gabriel just a bit. “It’s like, you don’t have a friggin’ heart.” He speaks more quietly, “And, you know, it wasn’t just me you hurt. What about Mr. Salisburg?”

Gabriel tenses at that name and before Sam can finish, he response, “Oh no...nope, nope, we’re not going ther—”

“I’m not done yet,” Sam interrupts.

“We will not speak of him, okay? This,” he gestures between himself and Sam, “is between you and me.” His voice becomes more venomous as he continues, almost talking through his teeth, “He got what he deserved. I would piss on fucking his grave if I were there.” Sam can see Gabriel’s whiskey-colored eyes flash with anger the latter talks about this man. He swallows, unable to really understand why Gabriel cannot understand how heartless he is.

“He didn’t deserve what you drove him to do.”

Is Sam seriously still going on about this man? “I didn’t make him swallow a bottle of pills.” Gabe then crosses his arms, still frowning at Sam.

Mr. Salisburg was a then forty-four year old married man that seduced Gabriel in Texas when he was almost eighteen, shortly after the boy had ran away from home. And it had to be secret. Not only was Salisburg married; he was also a city councilmember for the city of Arlington. Councilmember Salisburg soon broke things off, but Gabriel would not have it. He was so in love with the guy, and surely it must have been a joke. He ended up calling the man in his home, and his calls were ignored. Gabe, who felt helplessly alone, fell into a deep depression that resulted in him attempting suicide. Someone found him just in time. Eventually, the word got out that the councilmember was having an affair with a secretary. Salisburg had to resign. His wife left him.

Then over a decade later, while Gabriel was with Sam, Salisburg showed up at his door, wanting to start over with him. Gabriel told him to fuck off.

“Gabe, you told the guy to kill himself!” Sam retorts. “In fact, you told your half-brother that too.”

Gabriel’s eyes pierce at Sam. “He used me and threw me away when he decided that he was too ashamed to be with me,” he whispers. “So I’m glad he offed himself. If he can’t deal with the consequences of his actions, then it’s natural selection time, baby.” He gives Sam a thumb’s up, and he does not realize his lips has curled into a small smile. He then frowns again. “And don’t bring Castiel into this either.”

Sam cannot believe he is hearing this. And unfortunately for him, his confidence is beginning to drop, and he is uncertain of this confrontation anymore. He should have just walked out of the door. He turns away from Gabe until he can muster something to say. “And...” he clears his throat so he will not sound as weak, “and if I had ended my life or...or anything like that, would you proclaim it all natural selection as well?” His voice is low, and his eyes stare into Gabriel’s. The truth is Sam would never do that to himself, not for a man or woman. But he needed to know what Gabe would say.

Gabe blinks at such a question. “ _What_?! No!” He may have been an asshole to Sam, but the fact that the younger man would assume such a thing almost hurts him. Now that he thinks about it, he should not have been surprised that Sam would ask this. Nonetheless, he is unable to hide the hurt that starts to show in his facial expression. He would _never_ want the guy to ever do that to himself. He would not refuse to take responsibility for Sam killing himself. In fact it would haunt him for the rest of his life, especially after one special person in his life killed himself. Gabe of course blamed himself for it. “Why would I ever say that about you, Sam?” he whispers. “Why would I let you do that to yourself, even then?”

Those words just about did it for Sam. He looks away, unable to say anything anymore, and he cannot help his eyes watering. The fact that Gabriel would care is not supposed to reduce Sam to this. Maybe it was the look on the older man’s face. Maybe it was just relief that Gabriel _has_ a heart.

This man has aged, and his hair is shorter, but other than that, nothing has changed. Sam is still intimidated by the small man’s presence. In English, he would see the guy talking to people and have that charming smile and humor that drew Sam towards him in the first place. That five o’clock shadow and the way his eyes crinkle bring out the smile and charm. And then Sam closes his eyes, rejecting that bullshit of a thought. He would never let Gabe into his heart again. He would never let Gabe _touch_ him again. He will not touch him again. This is just closure. He is just relieved Gabriel would never let him do something harmful to himself or worse.

“What do you want me to say?” Sam whispers, still not looking at him.

Gabriel finds himself walking closer to him, just needing Sam to, well, look at him! He is also ashamed of himself, because this younger man is so gorgeous, more than he has even been. Now is not the time to think about tasting his lips and his skin. “Sam, listen. You were good to me,” he whispers. “Actually, you’re one of the few people in my life that was good to me. And I’m sorry...” He sighs. “I was wrong to have done what I did, but I needed to.”

Sam emotionally pulls himself together and clears his throat. “Yeah, well, I guess that was what Salisburg said to you,” he murmurs, looking down at his shoes.

A now irritated Gabriel then rolls his eyes and raises his arms up in frustration. He responds, “Aaannnd we’re bringing him up again.”

“Yeah, because you’re a hypocrite,” Sam retorts, finally staring at him. “Seriously, Gabe, you’re no better than him. When you were about to break up with me, you avoided me at the cafeteria and you’d always leave me alone in the bar while you take some girl home.”

Gabriel swallows at that. Yeah, he did leave Sam alone in those bars. God, he cannot believe he was such a douche. He does not look at Sam anymore, and now his vulnerability is threatening to show itself. Sam just needs to finish attacking him (rightfully so) so he can leave and still save face.

“And Salisbury—you pushed him down the stairs!”

Gabriel raises an eyebrow at that. “Look, that was an accident.”

“I don’t think running back to your apartment so that someone else can call the ambulance is an accident.”

Gabe sighs. Man, the more Sam talks, the more he is convinced that he really is a shitty person. Because, although it was an accident, he did run back to his room, despite Sam’s protests to help the guy. “M’sorry,” he can only whisper.

“Yeah, ‘sorry’ doesn’t really cut it.” Sam replies harshly, crossing his arms and looking away again.

“I know.” It is just deeply wounding him now, everything Sam says to him. And he just wants to leave now. He finds himself looking at Sam, his eyebrows inverted and his eyes damp. “You win, okay?” he speaks in a low voice, and Sam looks back at him, blinking at guilt displayed on the older man’s face. “I’ve done horrible things to both you and Salisburg, and countless others. I was in a bad place, but can’t change what I did.” Sam’s facial expression softens as Gabriel continues, “So, I’m gonna go.” He begins to walk past Sam.

Sam however grasps Gabriel’s hand, stopping him. He turns around and faces him, and Gabriel blinks, confused by Sam’s actions. But that is okay, because Sam is confused too. Because he has just told himself he was not going to touch Gabriel or let Gabriel touch him again.

So why is he towering over Gabriel, with his hand on the older man’s hip? And Gabriel, despite his initial attempt to pull away, finds himself stepping closer and cupping Sam’s face. He knows what Sam might do, so he is more than happy to close the gap between himself and this beautiful man. Because fuck his inhibitions.

The kiss is light and slow. Sam can already taste a mix of peach-flavored Smirnoff Ice and cigarettes, and he deepens the kiss, wanting more of that taste as Gabriel walks backwards, guiding Sam with him. It was always some kind of sweet drink and either cigarettes or marijuana, and Sam feels dizzy, slowly freeing himself from his own inhibitions. Gabriel’s hands comb through Sam’s hair as he tastes mint and Coors, and he breathes shakily through his nose as he feels Sam’s arms around him. He then brings one of his hands down to Sam’s chest, tugging the plaid shirt as they continue the slow and deep kisses. The last time they kissed like this was before Salisburg showed up that night he fell down the stairs. The very thought causes Gabe to want to break away. That night was the beginning of the end, and he does not need the association.

They break the kiss, snapping Gabriel’s thoughts from that memory, and he walks backwards, leaning against the counter. Sam pants, wondering why the hell they have just done that. Looking at the younger man with dazed eyes, he reaches out for him and pulls him down for another kiss. Sam’s veins flutter with butterflies as he cups Gabriel’s face this time. The older man’s touches down his chest and then his hips causes Sam to feel what he has not felt in long time: lust. Before long, he can hear Gabriel moan through his lips, and the kisses become more passionate. Sam’s hands grip just under Gabe’s ass while Gabe’s arms wrap around Sam’s neck. They stop the kisses so that Sam can hoist Gabe up on the counter, their half-lidded eyes pierce at each other. The very act sparks arousal in Gabriel, not used to someone else being in control when it came to making out and sex, and kisses Sam roughly, with tongue.

He starts thinking about the mind-blowing sex they used to have, and he could have sworn he never bottomed for Sam. He can only imagine what it is like now, and he does not realize he has already pulled Sam’s hips towards his own as he leans back, supporting himself with one hand. They breathless break the kiss at the contact, and they stare into each other’s eyes, missing the way their bodies melt against one another. Sam presses his groin against Gabriel’s, and Gabriel breathes shakily at the contact. He slowly leans over and nibbles on Gabe’s bottom lip, and he pulls back to ghost his lips against Gabriel’s. Sam cannot stop himself not with that peach-flavored cigarette taste on Gabriel’s lips and tongue.

The door opens and a man gasps, raising his arms in defense. “Whoa!”

Sam and Gabriel immediately stop, and Sam pulls away at the sight of this man. Sam recognizes him and breathlessly stammers, “Um, uh...Jack, it’s, uh, it’s not what you think—”

“Hey hey hey look man, I don’t care if you’re gay or straight, but Jo’s been waiting on you.” At that, the man runs back out.

Sam’s heart has been jumping. Because he is relatively new in Columbus, he is not really open about his sex life (or lack of because he has other things to worry about). So naturally someone like Jack would not have known about Sam being into men. But to be honest, Jack barging in only scared him because he now realizes that he has been making out with Gabriel, the man who broke his heart. It sort of snapped him back into reality. He cannot face Gabriel now, who pants as well, looking down at his shoes. Sam needs to get out of here. He cannot let Gabriel in.

“I gotta go....” he murmurs and grabs his jacket and begins to walk out. And yeah, he has completely forgot about Jo.

But Gabriel silently panics, not wanting him to go. He misses the kisses and the warmth of Sam’s body and hands. Most of all, he misses him. “Sam, please...”

Sam then glances at Gabriel, unsure how to respond to Gabriel begging him. He clears his throat. He needs to make this clear. “I...I can’t be with you,” he states. “I don’t _want_ to be with you. I don’t know how _this_ happened,” he gestured towards Gabriel, meaning the fact that they just made out, “or why, but it was a moment of...” he can’t come up with a word. “A moment of weakness I guess, and I’m sorry.” Those words wound Gabriel severely and he finds himself unable to figure out if this was a joke or a nightmare. Sam turns around and leaves. “I was here to pick up my roommate. I gotta go...”

Gabriel keeps his lips closed, breathing rapidly, trying to save face once he realizes that Sam is serious. It was a “moment of weakness.” That is why Sam pulled Gabe towards him and roamed his hands all over him and pressed his cock against his. What the fuck. “Sam, I _loved_ you,” he whispers, a little harshly. Sam stops right there, and glances at Gabriel with an emotionless face. Gabe continues, looking up at him. “I loved you back then.”

The truth was, Sam knows that Gabe probably loved him, despite the fact that he never heard the older man say it. But Gabe had a shitty way of showing it, and Sam is just not ready. “I’m sorry, Gabriel,” his eyes appeared sorrowful for a second before he walked out, leaving Gabriel dejected and in utter shock at what just happened.

___

Jo has her jacket on, sitting at the stool by the bar. She turns to her left and blinks at the sight of Sam. It is about frigging time. She hops off and walks towards him. “Sam, what happened? I thought you left.”

Sam sighs. “No, I’m...I got tied up in the restroom.” He just needs to leave, he needs to figure everything out. It is too hot and loud in here and the smell is too much. She shrugs and turns to walk towards the door, Sam following her.


	5. The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean, Cas and Charlie are back, mention of statutory rape and a small mention of past Destiel. Yay,
> 
> Characters are owned by Kripke and the CW.

Balthazar soon comes back from yet another therapy session, yawning and wanting to lie down on the couch for a little while. Today, he had talked more with Dr. Sharla about his gambling urges and becoming frustrated at the fact that either Gabe or Cas would forget to take their wallet with them.

He is surprised to see Gabe up and washing the dishes. The television is on as well. Well, there goes his nap.

Gabe turns around and glances up at him. “Welcome back,” he simply speaks in a low tone, before returns to his dishes. Balthazar sighs at his cousin, who still sounds miserable.

Balthazar walks into the kitchen. “You didn’t cook anything, did you?” He asks, looking around for any sign of cooked food. There is none.

“No.”

“Well, at least you’re out of the room for once.” For days, the dishes kept piling up. Balthazar would have done them, except he did not want to. Eventually Gabe had had enough and decided to wash them. And that is all he is doing, not yelling at his cousin for doing nothing, not asking him to cook himself. Although Balthazar likes getting to do what he wants, he is worried about Gabe.

Gabe told Balthazar that he saw Sam at the strip club. And that was all he told him. After a few days of Gabe going straight to his room after work or his classes, it did not take Balthazar long to realize that the reunion had not gone well.

And that was not the only problem. Gabe accidentally left a graded test on his Anatomy and Physics course with a big red C-minus on the top of it. Then the supervisor told him that he cannot work more than forty hours a week anymore, having been always allowed to work as many as eight hours of overtime (because he was so good at his job), so they got rid of his hours for Monday and Wednesday. That means less money. Yes, that left him some free time for homework, but ever since his confrontation with Sam, he can barely do any assignments for English without thinking about what a horrible person he is to people.

Perhaps that is why he lets Balthazar be as lazy as he wants to be. Balthazar realizes it too, and so he also talked about how guilty _he_ is for running over Gabe to Sharla.

The older man sighs and storms over to his cousin, dragging him away from the sink, and as Gabe protests, Balthazar grabs the dishcloth and a spoon and begins scrubbing. Gabe exclaims, “Dude, what the hell?!”

“Think you’ve done enough, thank you,” Balthazar replies, rinsing off the spoon. Then he digs his hand deeper into the dirty water, looking for more dishes. “Where are the other dishes?”

Gabe simply stares at him. “That was the last one, idiot,” he mutters.

Balthazar suddenly feels stupid, now, and he clears his throat. “Well, anyway, shouldn’t you be at work?” Gabe shakes his head, leaning against the counter.

“I called off.”

At this, Balthazar can only gape at his cousin’s unwillingness to care about anything. He sighs and grabs a towel to dry his hands. “Okay, so because some boy you used to fuck rejects you, _and_ you got a piss-poor grade on a test, you’re going to get yourself fired.” He states this more than questions it.

Gabe glares at him. “I’m not talking to you about that.” He then begins to walk out.

Balthazar sighs and continues, “There are other fishes in the sea, you know. S’not the end of the world just because someone hurt you.”

Gabe then turns around and replies, “That’s the thing. He didn’t hurt me, okay? _I_ hurt _him_.”

“Yes and I hurt you too,” Balthazar responds. “And I deal with the consequences of my hurting you by being a better person and going to therapy.” He then grabs Gabe’s arm and drags him to the living room. “Look at all this.”

There are tons of beer bottles from Balthazar himself on the coffee table, along with various food wrappers, pillows out of place. There is also a condom lying around by the television that one night Balthazar decided to bring a girl home. Gabe simply blocked out the noise using his earphones. Gabe also simply cooked for both of them, letting Balthazar do nothing. “What about this?” The younger man mumbles.

“Well, normally you would have told me to get my ass up and clean this mess.” Balthazar then gestures to the hotdog wrapper. “There’s a hotdog wrapper on the couch. _On the bloody couch_! And I don’t feel like getting it off of the couch.”

“So, I’ll clean it up later.”

Oy. Balthazar then sighs. “Stop being nice!” He pauses. “At least tell me to cook my own food.”

Gabriel sighs and walks back over to the kitchen. He comes back out with a trash bag and proceeds to pick up the empty beer bottles, and Balthazar can only sign miserably. “Here’s the thing, okay?” Gabe begins, not really wanting to get into it. He has to open up to someone about it though. Might as well be Balthazar. “I cheated on Sam, multiple times. Then I walked out on him completely. I wasn’t really sorry, either.”

Balthazar shrugs. “So?” People cheat all of the time.

Gabe then sighs exasperatedly, stopping his chores for minutes. “I drove an ex-lover to kill himself after I accidentally pushed him down the stairs.”

Balthazar simply stares at this and slowly nods. “Wow, you really are evil.” Gabriel sighs exasperatedly and continues to pick up the trash, saying nothing else. Balthazar moves over to speak to him. “Listen. We all do terrible, _terrible_ things. Like I said, I’m dealing with it. You need to do it, too.”

Gabriel glances up at him. “I was dealing with it and didn’t care that I drove that guy to kill himself, until Sam said all that shit to me.”

“Well, try to do it anyway. Stop letting what that man say get to you like this.” Balthazar flicks out the hotdog wrapper and sits down, watching Gabe clean up the rest. “Why don’t we go out to that strip club again?” he pauses. “Better yet, another one. You have any idea how long I’ve wanted to go into a gentlemen’s club?”

Gabe glances at him. “You need a membership.”

“I’ve stolen one before. Are you making meatloaf again tonight?”

Gabe sighs, and after standing up from bending over from picking up the trash, he replies, “You can order your own stuff,” before walking back to the kitchen.

Although Balthazar will miss Gabe’s delicious meatloaf, he grins at the man’s words. “Now _that_ is what I’m talking about!”

___

 

Castiel is off today, mixing some tea he bought from a local Indian store. He has had it before and was amazing. So he kept buying them. He hears his cellphone ring and he sighs and goes on to answer it. He stops in his tracks when he realizes it is actually a text from his own mother. It read, _finally learned how to text this_. He shakes his head, and he texts back, saying he has got her message. The two are close, although sometimes Dana can be overwhelming. Castiel cannot blame her today. After all, he was all she had for almost most of her life.

She was sixteen when she had him, deciding to give the baby a rather strange name based on an obscure angel. Her own mother, who had her at a young age too, was furious at being a grandmother at thirty-three, though she immediately warmed up to the baby. Castiel does not remember when he started asking what happened to his dad. In school, most kids had two parents. If a child had only one parent at all, one of his parents were either dead or his parents divorced. She never told him about where he was, because the last time she saw him was a couple of months before she found out she was pregnant. She just knows that he lived in the outskirts of Knoxville, Tennessee.

Castiel does not know when Dana began to have had enough and wanted whomever his dad was to acknowledge him. He does remember that, when he was ten-years old, she stopped by this house in the suburbs. Her boyfriend, who was harsh but still loving, rolled her eyes and wondered why she could not give up. Castiel can remember seeing an African-American teenage girl open the door and then a white woman, who looked middle aged, come out. Dana asked for someone, and the woman shook her head. Dana looked dejected and walked down the steps, swearing and leaving the house. 

Castiel later found out that she had stopped by the house again and had called the house numerous times. He does not know when exactly she gave up, but when he was almost twelve, she had him pack everything. She told him they were leaving for Ohio. Castiel has lived in Columbus ever since, even though Dana recently moved back to Knoxville. Castiel, despite going through those rough years in middle school and high school, managed to become a successful man as he grew older. He went to college, and earned himself a Ph.D in clinical psychology. There were a few hard bumps in his life, though, having been married a few years before he divorced the woman because she cheated on him. Dana stood by his side during that situation. All in all, he is happy with his life, though he wishes he could share that with someone.

The first time Castiel ever saw his father was during the man’s wife’s funeral when he came back to visit his mother in Knoxville. That was when she first told Cas about him. He learned that his name was Alfred Milton, and he had four children, one of them was adopted into the family, a daughter. The second oldest was dead, the oldest—Michael—had a teenaged son and a second wife who was carrying a child, and the adopted daughter—Rafaela—was inconsolable. Rafaela must have been Marguerite Milton’s favorite child, and it pained Castiel to see her unable to move, so Michael had to walk her around. The youngest refused to sit there with the others. He was probably drunk too.

Castiel was not sure what made him decide to walk up to Alfred and introduce himself. It was fine until he revealed to him that he was his son. He told Cas to go away because he does not have any other children. Then Gabriel showed up, really drunk and things went completely sour from there.

Castiel spoke to his mother about Alfred, and she revealed everything that happened. He was a former member of the Air Force that had to be discharged, and she was fifteen while he was in his thirties. She did not even know that man was not only married but had four children. She did not know that until she first stopped by his house that day.

Dana then explained to him why she never told Cas about him; it was because the man was a horrible, horrible person. It was not just because he slept with so many women while Marguerite lay in bed alone at night. After this, why should Cas want to know about his father, when his father is really a horrible person?

The guestroom door opens, snapping Cas away from his thoughts. Out comes Dean, who groans and rubs his head as he staggers out into the living room and then in the kitchen. He glances at Cas before he smiles faintly and staggers over to the table. Cas sighs and sets the spoon he used into the sink. “Did you take that aspirin?” he asks Dean.

Dean gives him a confused look. “There was aspirin?” He then sighs, the pounding in his head returning as he puts his head down. Castiel rolls his eyes and walks over to the living room to see if he had a bottle out there.

Basically Dean felt like he needed to drink and drink and drink until he projectile vomited on some girl’s face. Last night was the anniversary of his father’s murder.

Every year, he would have a couple of drinks and call it a night. However, meeting Sam again brought out the terrible memory of having to bury their dad alone while Sam refused to answer his phone (and he knew his number because he called him before). So, he dragged Castiel out to Pam’s Bar and tried to challenge Cas to a drinking binge. Cas was not going to do that, and so he got someone else to do it. To make matters worse, when a tall giant of a man came up to sing “Sara Smile” by Hall & Oates during karaoke, Dean threw a bottle at him and had to be hauled out. Hall & Oates had nothing to do with his father. He just hates them.

Cas returns with the bottle, placing it by Dean, and then he grabs a small glass for water. “Drink,” he simply says as he sets it down by him. Dean sighs and lifts up his heavy head. Cas leans by the counter as Dean takes the aspirin and downs it with water. When Dean is finished, Castiel states, “Pam has decided not to ban you from her bar.” Dean rolls his eyes, and Castiel does not understand why Dean is so nonchalant about it. “Dean, I get that last night wasn’t a good night for you, but that man could have killed you.”

Dean simply turns his head at the older man. “So?”

Castiel raises an eyebrow. “And then Charlie and I would’ve had a fit.” He sighs and sits down beside him. “Well, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want.”

Dean shakes his head. Perhaps he needs to talk about it with someone. Might as well be a professional therapist, even though he is not paying him. “You know, after Mom died, it was just me, Dad and Sammy.” He then shakes his head again. “I just fucking called him Sammy. He doesn’t even deserve to be called that. Look, there was no one to help with the funeral arrangements; I had to steal a fucking credit card to pay for all of that. I mean I know that Dad wasn’t the best person around, so I guess maybe that’s why not a lot of him came the funeral. But _Sam_...”

Castiel pats Dean’s shoulder. “What Sam did wasn’t good, but I’m sure he had his reasons—”

“What reason?” Dean glares at his friend, speaking harshly. “Give me one goddamn reason why _anyone_ should have brother bury their father alone.”

Castiel does not know how to answer this without angering Dean more. He takes a chance. “Well, I...you know, people grieve differently. Maybe Sam was too afraid to have to see him be buried.” Dean looks down at his empty glass as the other man continues, “He shouldn’t ignored you completely, but I think that is why he didn’t want to be there with you.”

Dean’s stomach growls then, making him unable to consider Castiel’s words about Sam. He is still angry, and he will probably never forgive his little brother. They were family. Sam was not supposed to be fighting with him and dad and telling them to fuck off while he runs off to be some damn lawyer. And yes, Sam did eventually call Dean the first few months after he moved to Stanford, just to let Dean know that he was fine. He even told Dean he had a boyfriend, but that was the only time he mentioned anything outside his curriculum. The last time he spoke to him was almost a year before their father was killed. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” Dean mumbles.

“All right.”

“I mean, look at me, Cas.” Castiel then looks over at Dean who then continues, “I’m a thirty-two year old mechanic who has done nothing with his life and he wants to beat the shit out of his more successful little brother for being an asshole.” Cas tries not to rolls his eyes. He can sympathize with they situation with his family, but he will not hear Dean whining about being in his thirties. Dean then asks, “You still got any of those cinnamon powdered donuts?”

Castiel simply stares at him. He walks up to grab it from the cabinet and places it next to Dean. “Why don’t you start buying your own?”

“Charlie ate them all.” Dean glances over at a newspaper and grimaces when he saw a photo of Darryl Hall and John Oates. “They’re coming over to Columbus in January.”

Cas nods at that. “Yeah, I have to get tickets.” And then Dean grimaces at his friend.

“Dude, are you serious?”

Castiel does not understand what is the problem. “I don’t unders—”

“It’s Hall & fucking Oates, Cas.” He stands up and walks to the refrigerator. “ _Why_ the hell do you still listen to Hall  & Oates?”

The older man raises an eyebrow at Dean taking the milk out. “I don’t recall judging you for listening to Ozzy Osbourne on repeat when I’m in your car. Give me a damn break.” He hears his phone buzz, and he picks it up. It’s from Dana again. As he texts her back, he speaks, “I was gonna buy one for you, but nevermind.”

“Yeah, don’t.” Dean then ponders, pouring milk into his glass before asking, “What about that Meg girl from work?”

Castiel simply looks up at him. “I’m not going to take someone from work out to see Hall & Oates, Dean.”

“Yeah, because you know it’s embarrassing as fuck to listen to them,” he gestures his donut at him before he takes a bite. Castiel rolls his eyes. “I gotta head back soon. Charlie’s coming to pick me up.” He glances at him. “Gotta get those tickets and stuff for Oyahocon.” Cas simply stares at the pathetic grin that now plasters on Dean’s face. The mechanic assumes that Cas does know what that is, and so he just repeats, “Oyahocon!”

“W-what is that, Dean?”

And Dean can only stare at him. “The anime convention they have here, every late January. I know you’re not exactly familiar with the lingo these days, old man, but seriously I was talking about this all year.”

“... You’re only a year younger than me.”

Dean shrugs. “Always about those details.”

Cas shrugs and replies, “Well, I hope they don’t show any of the more smutty stuff you like to watch.”

“Shut up.” Dean watches Castiel walk over to open the shades just a little bit. “Did you really hate all of the music I listened to when you and I experimented?” Cas turns around and blinks at the random mention of the little trysts they had. Dean was bicurious at the time, and so was Cas. What better way to test the waters than test on each other? However, this only lasted three months before they realized that they were better off just being friends. And that Castiel realized he did not really like dick after all. “I mean, come on, you must have liked something, right?” Dean smirks at Cas before the latter rolls his eyes.

“Yes, well...” Cas sighs and leans against the counter. He shrugs. “Not really.” He pauses. “Why mention that we experimented?” Dean shrugs and Cas explains the reason for the question. “I’m not ashamed of it. Just curious.” The last thing Cas wants to do is make Dean feel ashamed of it.

Dean shrugs. “Sometimes I miss kissing you, is all.” He takes another bite of his donut as he stares a Cas’s amused but surprised reaction. “Hey, I gotta be honest.” He gives him a soft smile.

___

Balthazar has arrived to visit Cas today, and to be honest, it is to ask for help about Gabriel. After all, Castiel is a therapist, and therapists know better than anyone regarding what to do when one cannot move on from a past relationship.

Getting out of the car, he hops on the porch to knock on the door, but this strange bass keeps getting louder and louder. And as it keeps getting louder, he becomes strangely familiar with it. Unfortunately.

Eventually, the car rolls up on the driveway, and Lil Jon’s outbursts of “Yeah!” and “What?!” are pretty much rampant. And there are the dirty lyrics asking what does one do when they roll up in the club, and people stepping up to people’s faces and the fact that they are not going to do shit. And then, in a slow motion sequence, Charlie Bradbury steps out of the car with her hands on her hip, and since it is a particularly windy day, her hair simply blows off one direction. She then glances at Balthazar and blinks, very familiar with him. “Hey, I remember you!” she shouts. Balthazar can only give out a weak wave at the woman, as he remembers her, too.

Before either of them can do or say anything else, Dean storms out of the house, promptly marches towards Charlie’s car, opens the driver’s door, yanks the keys out from the ignition which stops the song, and throws it towards the porch. Then he turns to Charlie in disgust. “ _Really_?!”

Charlie gives him her sad puppy-dog expression. “He’s a guilty pleasure. S’not my fault he butchered Crazy Train, Dean.” She then looks around until she sees someone and points to them. “That lady over there likes it!” She waves at her.

The lady turns out to be an eighty-seven year old woman, waving and smiling at Charlie, while watering the grass.

“Oh come on!” he shouts to himself in frustration, because he did not want to be reminded.

Balthazar simply stares at them as Castiel peeks from out of the door. The therapist smiles at Balthazar and asks, “How are you?”

“Well, I’m fine, but...?” he jerks his thumb at Charlie and Dean, and as Cas glances at them, Balthazar speaks, “I kinda wanted to talk privately.” He then whispers, “It’s about Gabriel.”

Cas raises an eyebrow. “What about him?”

Charlie then hops on the porch, and after picking up her keys, she smiles at the two men. “How’s it goin’, bitches?” she beams as she simply walks inside the house. Dean shakes his head and follows. After Cas quietly assures Balthazar that they will be leaving soon, they two step inside.

Eventually, all three of Castiel’s guests are eating his powdered donuts, and he can only sigh, having expected a day off only to himself. He realizes he never yet introduced his guests to each other (because of the lure of those cinnamon-powdered donuts), so he gestures at Balthazar to Dean and Charlie. “So, um, this is Balthazar Roché. He’s not technically my cousin but I consider him to be. He’s actually Gabriel’s cousin.”

Dean glances between the two, frowning. “Oh, you mean the douche who kept calling me a boychick and told you to die, Cas?” He then simply waves at Balthazar, deciding to say no more.

Charlie smiles and says, “We know him from Pam’s Bar awhile back.”

“Yes, Charlie, right?” Balthazar grins back. “I bought you an apple Smirnoff.”

“Yes, and this is Dean Winchester.” She jerks her thumb at him. “Sometimes he’s nice.” Balthazar can only nod at that. “And, I actually teach Gabe at the math course, for a professor. He’s doing much better, you know?”

“I can believe it.”

“Roché sounds like a French name,” Charlie randomly asks. “But you’re British.”

“Because my father is French.”

“Oh...”

“But I was born in the U.K.”

“Well, that makes perfect sense.” Then Charlie jerks her thumb at Dean. “He and I are both from Kansas, and our very own Cas is from Tennessee.” Dean silently stuffs his face with the powdered donuts, and Cas reaches over to put the milk back in the refrigerator, smiling at Charlie’s words. She continues, “And somehow we’re all together in Columbus, Ohio.” The laugh that comes out of her mouth is almost a nervous laugh. It was not meant to come out that way, and she now feels awkwrd. “What are the fucking odds?”

Cas smiles back at her. “Well, I have to go get something at the garage for a minute.” He walks out of the kitchen. “Milk is still in the fridge if you want more.” He gestures to the refridgerator.

“Okay, Castiel,” Charlie replies.

“Okay,” and at that, he disappears.

The guests do not say anything until after they hear the screen door close. Then Dean takes a gulp of milk before turning to Balthazar. “You wanna tell Gabriel to lay the fuck off of Cas?”

Balthazar narrowed his eyes at the mechanic. “Excuse me?”

Charlie scoffs at Dean’s sudden harsh words, and she looks at him pleadingly. “Dean, please don’t start...”

“No, who the fuck tells a half-brother, whose only crime was being born to fucking die?” Dean snaps. He turns to Balthazar. “Yeah, Cas told me about their father and how he cheated on Gabe’s mother with Cas’s, which pretty much resulted in Cas being here period. But it’s not _his_ goddamn fault. So you tell him to lay the fuck off Cas, or I’m gonna kick his tiny ass.” Charlie gives up, shaking her head as she walks over to the refrigerator.

Balthazar takes a sip of his milk before he clears his throat. “First of all, if you even touch my cousin, I will kick your ass.”

Dean’s eyebrow raises, and he stands up, as if to challenge him. “Would love to see you try, Gordon Ramsey.”

Charlie almost panics. “Guys, no! Please, not in Cas’s house...”

“No, don’t worry, love. Don’t plan on smashing anything in this house anytime soon.” Balthazar winks at Charlie. He turns back to Dean, his eyes narrowing. “Secondly, while we’re on the subject of laying the fuck off of someone, tell your _brother_ to lay the fuck off my cousin. There’s no reason to make him feel like shit after things didn’t work out between them years ago.”

Dean simply stares at Balthazar, eyes widening. Then he groans. “Really?!” Charlie shrugs.

“Thirdly, you may be Cas’s friend, but he’s my friend too. And he’s in a way my cousin, too.” He pauses. “Really, do you honestly think I like how Gabby treats him? Because I don’t. And you know what? You’re right, Cas is innocent, and Gabe’s anger is misplaced.” Balthazar then shrugs, as a nonverbal way of telling him that this is the harsh truth of the matter. What the fuck does this man know about what happened? Yes, they all may know about Castiel, but Dean does not know anything about what Gabe went through.

Dean sits back down. “Well, look. So, why don’t you tell Gabriel this so this bullshit can blow over?”

“I’ve tried. And I’m not attempting to try again.”

Charlie sits back down, deciding to see what she can do to resolve this. “Balthazar, does Gabe know that you visit Cas and talk to him?” she asks.

“Pfft!” He takes a sip of his milk again. “Why in the hell would I let Gabe know that?! He’d skin me alive.” He sighs.

“I just wonder how stressful it is to have to hide it from him, you know?”

Balthazar simply raises an eyebrow at her. “No, not really?”

Charlie sighs, and she leans closer. “Listen, Dean and I don’t know what happened. You and Cas do, I know you both tried to get it through to Gabe, but I know in your heart you want them to get along. Because they’re your family.”

“So how about this; we’ll all pretend to bump into each other, and you bring Gabriel,” Dean speaks. “I’ll bring Cas. Neither of them has to know what is going on.” He looks over at Charlie. “When are you free?”

“I’m free Saturday.”

“So, everyone is free on Saturday right, right? We’ll meet somewhere.”

“What about the gay strip club down at Walnut Street?” Charlie suggests.

Dean and Balthazar simply stare at her at such a ludicrous suggestion. Dean turns back to Balthazar. “They’re playing that remake of _Vampyros Lesbos_ at that adult theater that night.” Dean tries very hard not to smirk at the thought of luscious lesbian vampires fingering each other. “Downtown. You know what I’m talking about.”

“Why would I want to watch a shitty remake of that awesome film?”

Balthazar nods. “Sweetheart has a point there.”

Dean sighs and rolls his eyes. He turns to Charlie. “Why would I want to go to a gay strip club?”

“Gabe might want to.” Charlie shrugs.

Balthazar shakes his head. “I really don’t want to do this.” He then glances at Dean. “And for someone who was yelling at his own brother for something, you sure are really pushing two brothers to reconcile when one of them is really set on not doing that.” Before Dean can say anything, Balthazar continues, “Think about it. Older brother is pissed off at younger brother for something he can’t really control, am I right?”

Dean narrows his eyes at him. “Okay, first of all, Sam had every reason to fly back over to where our dad was murdered, and get all of the fucking funeral arrangements set up and everything, and he chose not to call me back or anything, so he can pretty much fuck himself.”

They hear Cas open the screen door and come back inside.

Since Dean knows Cas can probably hear them from the living room, Dean clears his throat and speaks, “Meanwhile bears!” Charlie and Balthazar silently question him. Before Dean can say more, Castiel enters the kitchen, looking over at them with a confused look on his face.

“What about bears?” he asks.

Charlie now understands where Dean is getting at, so she shrugs. “Just saying that polar bears have no place in this world.”

Balthazar blinks at that. “Hey, don’t be talking shit about polar bears!” And how can Charlie tell this man that she was only saying this to avoid blowing their cover? Cas shakes his head and walks back into the kitchen, and Balthazar finds himself in a internal dilemma. 

Okay, yes, he is tired of having to sneak around to hang out with Castiel, knowing that his cousin despises him. He really wants them to get along and to move on from this. It is not Castiel’s or Dana’s fault that Alfred had an affair with the young girl. There is this hope against hope that Gabriel will consider talking to Castiel, and realize that the displaced anger at the therapist will not solve anything about their father, not at all. He kind of wants to write to his own mother for advice, but she will probably not listen to him. She actually blamed poor Dana for “luring” Alfred away from Marguerite and their four children and basically tearing the family apart, when that man had been doing this since they had their second child. 

But this is why he did not want to get involved. It has never worked. They have all acknowledged that Alfred is a horrible man, but they decided it would be easier to take it out on each other while Alfred lives alone at the house. Gabe is a victim, and as far as Balthazar’s mother is concerned, how dare Gabe act like a fool during her sister-in-law’s funeral, shouting at Alfred? That is just one of the many examples, besides Gabe’s resentment towards Castiel.

“All right, I’ll do it.”

They all stare at Balthazar. “You’ll do what?” Dean asks him.

Balthazar has to find the right words to avoid blowing their cover. “I’ll go see that remake.”

Cas sighs as the now empty bag of powdered donuts and reaches for it. As he walks over to the trashcan, he asks, “What remake?”

Dean tries to hide the triumphant grin by turning it to a silly grin at the mention of the porno. “That lesbian vampire porno.” He pauses. “By the way, you’re coming with me and Charlie on Saturday to see it.”

Cas raises an eyebrow at him. “You’re joking.”

“Not really.”

“It’ll be fun!” Charlie grins, and Castiel simply stares at her, before shaking his head. 

“Why don’t we just go to Pam’s Bar?” he simply asks her.

Dean scoffs. “We always fucking go to Pam’s Bar. Besides, I don’t think she’d want to see me after last night, right?”

Cas simply nods. “I suppose, Dean.”

___

Charlie and Dean soon walk out the door, saying goodbye to Castiel and Balthazar. As soon as the door is shut, Charlie whispers to Dean, “I can’t believe Castiel actually agreed to go.”

Dean shrugs. “Yep, now Balthazar just gotta bring the short douchebag,” he mumbles, walking past Charlie as he walks towards the car. He is about to open the car door when he glances at the sudden sad look on Charlie’s face. He pauses. “What’s wrong?”

Charlie does not know if there is a right way to go about this. She sighs. “Well, you’re probably tell me to fuck off about this, but...” She opens the door. “I think Balthazar is right about one thing—why don’t you try reconciling with your own brother?” 

Dean rolls his eyes and sighs exasperatedly as he opens the door and gets into his passenger seat. Charlie is wrong about this. If it were anyone _other_ than Charlie who decides to bring it up about Sam, then yes, Dean would pretty much tell them to fuck off. He hates that he lets her get a free ride at everything. “I’ve talked about him too much today.”

Charlie gets inside the car. “Well, I mean, you never even told me you had a brother, and I’d really like to meet him, you know?” Dean says nothing to that, and Charlie sighs. Well, she tried. “Something to think about.” She plugs in her iPhone to her car stereo, and then starts the car. “I’ve decided to update my phone to iOS 8, after all.”

Dean raises an eyebrow at her as she pulls out of Cas’s driveway. “Oh, so you had to delete your grandmother’s video in order to download that?”

Charlie scoffs at him. “No, Dean, don’t believe what they keep saying about that.” She drives down the road. “I wish you’d see the good side to having an iPhone, Dean. It’s not all that bad, and you’re missing out.”

“See, you’re lucky you can actually pull apart your phone and fix it. Anyone else would have to pay hundreds of bucks to do that.”

“Well, then drop that Nokia of yours, Winchester and get an iPhone and I’ll show you everything.” Charlie taps into her phone as Dean rolls his eyes. She smirks at him. “Hey, you can’t turn it down.”

Suddenly, Lil Jon shouts, “TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?!” and the song blares through her stereo, making Dean jump. He simply glares at Charlie the entire ride home while she smiles and bobs her head to the song on repeat.

___

A song by Seal blares through Gabe’s phone speakers, causing the man to groan and stir from his sleep.

Not only did Gabe _not_ show up for College Writing I (for obvious reasons), but he ended up calling off again. He needed to work on his assignments for his Anatomy and Physics. Having to look at the questions and attempt to find the right answers after doing so terribly on that exam has been torture. He has to remind himself that he can do better, and he will. He just needs to improve his time management skills between work and his other courses. Then, he had such a headache from working on that and his math homework that he went to take a nap after taking aspirin.

He does not even sit up as he reaches for his phone. He does not recognize the number that displays on his phone, but he answers it anyway. “Hello?” he speaks in a quiet but gravelly voice.

“Gabriel?” comes a very familiar, low voice.

Gabe immediately jumps up, as if he is waking up from a nightmare. When it occurs to him that his phone is still connected to the person on the other end, he is pissed off that this is not a nightmare. He tries to find the right words, and to calm himself down. “H...how the hell did you get my number, Sam?”

On the other end of the line, Sam is standing outside at the community college after attending one of his classes. Currently, there is a small Republican rally in place for the Mid-term vote this November, but it is loud enough that Sam can hardly hear Gabe, so he walks to somewhere quieter, near the bathrooms. “Say that again?”

Gabe is seething in his bed. “I said how. The. _Fuck_. Did. You. Get. My. Number?”

Sam swallows at the harsh tone from his ex. He sighs. He knows there is no right way to go about this, and it is just has hard on him as it is on Gabe. “First of all, the contact information Schumacher had us fill out was not just for emergency.” He pauses. “And if you had bothered showing up for class today, you would know that she assigned us to work together for the writing project.”

_“We’re WHAT?!”_

Sam removes his phone from his ear as Gabe continues shouting, and he sighs miserably. This is turning out worse than he expected this to be. When Gabe is done shouting, Sam puts the phone back to his ear. “Can you at least try to be civil about this?!” 

Back in the apartment, Gabe hears this. And he just loses it. 

Sam made him feel like he was a shit person, then he rubbed his crotch against his while they were making out—something _Sam_ initiated. Then he pulled away and told him he did not want to be with him ever again and left. So, basically Sam played with the older man’s emotions, reducing the almost middle-aged man to sulking like a teenaged girl. And he wants Gabe to be _civil_?! He shouts, “Fuck you! I don’t have to be civil about anything, you pathetic piece of _shit_! I have my email address on my contact info! You fucking email me from now on! Don’t you fucking call my number and disrespect my apartment again, bitch!”

Sam hears the dial tone, and he stands there in utter disbelief at what just occurred. He slowly closes his eyes, trying to calm himself down, and he puts his phone away. Despite his attempts to remain calm, Sam is angry. He is _done_ with today and its bullshit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is appreciated.


	6. Brother Louie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eric Kripke and CW own all characters of Supernatural.

That night, because he does not want to hear some girl sing, “Happy,” by Pharrell Williams at the karaoke stage, Dean instead decides to watch _Married With Children_ on the television at Pam’s Bar (despite not wanting to go there earlier). Bud and Kelly have won the “Dinner with Anthrax” contest and right now, the thrash metal band is not too thrilled to be there because they are hungry. Dean chuckles before sipping his beer, all too thrilled to see one of his heavier favorite bands guest star in one of his favorite shows.

Pam constantly watches Dean, hoping that the mechanic controls himself this time. Dean continues grinning until he just happens to glance over at Pam, and then he clears his throat. He hasn’t forgotten what happened the night before, nor has he forgotten Castiel’s warning. He instead takes another drink and turns his attention to a man sitting next to him, because apparently he needs to make conversation with somebody. “Awesome show, right?” Dean asks before turning his attention back to the show.

The man beside him is an African-American man wearing a newsboy cap, and he raises an eyebrow at Dean, wondering why this man is talking to him. “S’alright,” the man simply replies. Dean smiles at him before glancing back at the television. Anthrax’s vocalist, Joey Belladonna makes a snarky comment, and Dean chuckles again. He then just happens to glance at Pam again, who is glaring at him.

“What, Pa—”

“I’m fucking watching you, Dean!” She snaps. “You better not cause any shit in here or I will throw you the fuck out!” She point at her own eyes with two of her fingers, and then those fingers point at Dean. “Like laser eyes, Dean,” she warns him, repeating that gesture. Dean simply stares at her and what he believes to be a completely unnecessary gesture, and he is so done with this shit. She then smiles at the man sitting next to him. “Besides, everyone knows _Martin_ is the better show.”

The man grins at that and reaches his fist out so that Pam can dap her fist to his. “Hey, I knew someone’s got some good tastes around here.” Dean is confused, glancing between this man and Pam.

“What’s _Martin_?” he asks.

The man stares at Dean, really surprised. “You don’t know _Martin_? The show with Martin Lawrence in it.”

Dean knows who Martin Lawrence is, and he can only nod slowly. _Big Momma’s House._ “Oh...I didn’t know he has a show.”

“Had. Funniest shit man. Elementary school all over again.” He grins. Dean is still confused. The man simply raises an eyebrow at the confused look on Dean’s face and shakes his head. “Nevermind.” He glances at Pam and he fishes out five dollars. “Here’s a tip, Pam. Thank you for the hospitality.”

Pam smiles at that. “No problem.”

At that, the man steps down from his stool, and he just happens to glance at Dean with a faint smile before walking off. As Dean watches him walk out, he studies the man’s body under the jacket and the jeans. He seems to be just a bit shorter than Dean, and he is a little heavier-built than him. Dean can only imagine the muscle under his clothes, and then the mechanic snaps himself away from his thoughts, unable to suppress a chuckle. Because Dean has not slept with a man since Castiel. And that was a year ago when he realized that, although he will never rule out men, he liked women more. “Dean, seriously, man?” he whispers to himself, shaking his head.

“I was about to say the same thing,” a female voice responds, and Dean turns around to see that it is none other than Kali. She is really amused right now. “You’ve been ogling at that man’s ass.”

Dean is just utterly shocked. “No I wasn’t!”

“Oh honey, you were totally staring at that man’s ass,” Pam gestures at the man walking out of the bar. She smirks, leaning over Dean. “And you know he’s probably got a nice cock, too.”

Dean simply stares at Pam, utterly done with her as Kali laughs. He stands up, tips Pam and responds, “Yeah, both of you can go fuck yourselves.” At that, he storms out, utterly pissed at the two women laughing at him. However, he does not rule out the fact that that man probably has a nice cock, and he smiles a little.

___

Because Gabriel instead wanted to go see the new horror movie that came out yesterday, there was a last minute change in the plan. Thankfully, Castiel was much more willing to see the horror film than a lesbian softcore remake.

So, after Charlie finished buying all of the candy for Halloween next Friday, she and Dean went over to pick up Castiel, and they all headed out to the movie theater. Unfortunately, they were already late and were going to miss the first fifteen minutes of it.

Everyone and their mother are there to see either that movie, or that new Dreamworks family film about ghosts. Either way, Charlie wastes no time getting her snacks. Halloween is one of her favorite holidays. She also recently bought an Arwen costume. Dean wants to go to Pam’s Bar, but they really have not decided what they will do for Halloween night.

It is while she waits on the men to buy their own snacks and drinks that her phone rings. Her heart skips a beat when Charlie realizes that is her mother. Despite being afraid of any bad news, she answers it. “Hello, mom,” she greets her mother with a cheerful tone. “How are you, today?” She waits for her mother to say something, and when she does, Charlie’s eyes widen. She stands up and tries to find the right words. “I...the doctor told you this?” She pauses before swallowing. She feels like she cannot breathe, not with her heart beating so fast. “Oh my god...I need to find a way to see you and Dad.” She glances at Dean and Cas, who are grabbing the popcorn and nachos. “Listen, I have to go. I’ll talk to you later okay? I love you so much! Tell Dad I love him too.” After a moment, she hangs up the phone. She immediately dashes towards the men.

Cas raises an eyebrow as Charlie dashes towards them. And by the time Dean catches on, he almost falls back under Charlie’s embrace, having to hold his food away from his roommate. “The hell, Charlie?!” Dean exclaims. Charlie looks up at him with tears in her eyes. Then she smiles and sniffles.

“Mom’s cancer is in remission!”

Dean stares at her, shocked, before he grins and hollers, “Woo! Fuck yeah!” Some of the other moviegoers stare at the three for the sudden commotion, and as Charlie chuckles, relieved that her mother will finally get better, Dean grins down at her. “I told you she would make it through. Now was I wrong?”

“Never wrong, Dean,” she shakes her head. “Some things you are wrong about, but not this.”

Dean raises an eyebrow. “What was I wrong about?”

She wipes the tears from her eyes and points at him. “The two men from Modern Talking are not gay.”

Dean immediately rolls his eyes. “Oh Jesus Christ...you and your 80s Europop....I mean, the fuck kinda song is ‘Brother Louie’?”

Castiel chuckles at his friends. “Congratulations, Charlie.”

Charlie grins back at him. “Thank you, Cas. We need to celebrate by going to Chipotle!”

Dean frowns and shakes his head at such a ludicrous idea and walks off towards the hallway. He cannot afford Chipotle. He can hardly afford the food in the cinema, despite the fact that Castiel really bought everything. As they head towards the auditorium where Balthazar told Charlie they were going to sit in, Castiel tells Dean to shut up and that he will pay for their burritos.

___

The auditorium is mostly packed, and on the movie screen, the main heroine is worried that something bad is going to happen. Her boyfriend keeps telling her to chill out before they continue making out in his car. As soon as Charlie steps inside, she tries to see if they can find Balthazar. She and Dean are confident that Cas is still oblivious of their plan. She soon spots both him _and_ Gabriel, sitting by the wall on the second to the last row. Thankfully, she sees some empty seats. Dean and Cas walk in then, and she whispers, “I found us some seats.”

Unfortunately, some assholes decide to sit from the aisle, so the three carefully tiptoe over these people in order to get to the seats. Castiel raises an eyebrow, because there were some empty seats on the other side of the aisles. “Why are we sitting over here?” he whispers. After they sit down, Dean and Charlie swallow at the sight of Balthazar and Gabriel in front of them. Dean gives Charlie the sign to go ahead, and she pokes Balthazar over the shoulder.

Balthazar blinks and turns around. “Oh hey, sweetheart,” he whispers, giving her a nervous smile. 

Castiel blinks at him. “Balthazar?”

Gabe has not really paid attention until recognizes Castiel’s voice, and he immediately turns around and narrows his eyes at not only him but Charlie and Dean as well. Also, how does _Castiel_ know Balthazar? “Couldn’t find another fucking room? Really?” He speaks loudly, and the other moviegoers glare at him. To be honest, Castiel is not really in the mood to see Gabriel, either.

Castiel sighs. “If you really don’t want me here, we can find another place.” He stands up and speaks, “C’mon guys.”

“Dammit Cas, I’m not gonna fucking step over those people at the end. And my food’s getting cold,” Dean snaps. Castiel sighs, defeated, and sits back down, and Gabriel rolls his eyes, looking half-asleep and nonchalant. Chuck Shurley is actually there with them, and is confused. 

“Um, who are these guys?” he asks.

“Fucking hell, Chuck!” Gabe grabs Chuck by the shoulder and brings him close. He gives his co-worker a sad look on his face. “Do I really need to introduce you to them?” His speech is slightly slurred. “Really? Because you don’t wanna know.” He snorts. Chuck gently pushes Gabe away, unable to stand the man’s increasingly awful breath. Balthazar asked Chuck to come with him and Gabe to see this film, and Chuck regrets joining them, especially since Gabe already had a bottle of beer. 

Charlie notices the strange way Gabe is acting, and the fact that he smells like gin. Dean realizes it too, and cannot believe it. In the movie theaters?! “Are...are you seriously drunk?”

Gabe smiles at him, holding up his flask. “I am.”

“You know that’s illegal, right?” Not that it’s stopped Dean from doing the same thing.

Castiel shakes his head. Every other time that he sees his older half-brother, he is mostly inebriated, which could explain his rage and unacceptable behavior. “Why...why are you drinking in the movie theaters, Gabriel?”

“Because fuck you, that’s why!” Gabe snaps and takes another swig. Dean glares at Gabe, and all he wants to do is beat the shit out of him, for creeping out Charlie, for being shitty to Castiel, for calling him a boychick...

A moviegoer turns around and calmly asks, “Can you please be a little quieter?”

Chuck chuckles nervously, snatching the flask away from Gabe. “We’re sorry.”

Suddenly, the audience gasps as the boyfriend is attacked. Charlie puts her hand over her mouth. “Ohhhh...I knew this was gonna happen!”

Gabe glances at her. “Pretty predictable, right?” She nods to this.

Balthazar chuckles and shakes his head as the heroine runs while her boyfriend is being ripped to shreds by this unknown monster. “Teenagers are pretty bloody stupid. I mean, who makes out in the woods?” Gabriel simply stares at him, snatching the flask from Chuck’s hands. He takes a sip and then clears his throat. 

“How does Castiel know you, Balthazar?” he asks quietly. Castiel sighs at this.

Balthazar swallows, while glancing at Castiel. Balthazar figures if he tells a little white lie, maybe Gabe won’t skin him alive, and everything will be back to normal.

“It was at Pam’s Bar?” he whispers to avoid a moviegoer telling him to shut up, and when Gabe doesn’t look convinced, he smiles nervously. “Remember? After you told me to buy my own food.” Balthazar glances over at Dean and Charlie and continues, “Everyone was there! Except for Chuck.” Chuck glances at them all, even more confused. And Balthazar concludes with, “And Kali was there too.” He then glances at Dean. “Oh, by the way, I met with Pam and Kali and they told me to tell you to use extra lube with that guy you’re trying to get with.” He shrugs.

“Okay, seriously?!” Dean exclaims and some of the moviegoers shush at him to be quiet. One particular person told Dean to shut the fuck up or he will punch him.

Charlie blinks at him. “Oh, you’re going back to men, now.”

Dean lulls his head at her, with a glare, saying nothing.

Castiel really does not want to get into that, and he instead glares at Gabe. “Why does it matter if I know Balthazar or not, Gabriel?” He then takes a sip of his awful Coke before adding, “Who are you to control who he wants to hang out with?”

Gabe uses all of his willpower to refrain from telling Cas to go fuck himself. Instead he replies, “Because he is my older cousin, not yours.”

Charlie tries to ignore the growing tension bubbling between Castiel and Gabe, and she turns to Chuck. “So, your name is pretty much Charlie, too, yes?”

Chuck hesitates because he does not even know her. “Essentially yes, but, um, everyone call me Chuck.”

“Thank god, because everyone’d be asking, ‘Oh, which Charlie are you talking about!’ What a coincidence.” She turns back to Dean who has grumbled something at Gabe, and she sighs. This plan has failed. Had Gabe been sober, would there have been some progress. Perhaps. But the fact is, Gabe is drunk, saying obscene stuff, and... Did Gabe just mention that he fucked Dean’s brother? Charlie gulps.

Dean narrows his eyes at him. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me, but I’ll say it again,” Gabe begins, turning around to face Dean. “You’re just mad because I used to fuck your brother.” He leans down closer to Dean, and smirks. “And his asshole was so good and tight with my dick _and_ my tongue, and he begged for it like a little bitch.”

Now, picture everyone staring at Gabe in utter disbelief as he goes in detail about fucking someone’s brother. And that someone being Dean, who already despises Gabe to begin with.

A man turns around, disgusted. “Seriously, man! I have my eight year old kid with me.” Indeed, the kid turns around to look at them all.

Gabe snorts sat the moviegoer. “You’re concerned about your little boy hearing that I licked another man’s asshole, while you’re bringing him to watch someone getting hacked to pieces.” He turns back to Dean and continues, “As I was saying, he begged for it like a little bitch, and had a great time sucking my dick.”

Dean stares wide eyed at him, completely lost for words. And when he does find the words to say, he exclaims, “I don’t _care_! Do you honestly think I give a fuck about what you and him did? I don’t even speak to him.” He narrows his eyes again. “This is about Castiel and how you treat _him_.”

Cas sighs. “Dean, don’t do this...” he pleads, but Dean is done.

“You tell him to die, you yell at him, you make him feel like he fucking did something to you when he never did a damn thing.” Gabe glares at him while Dean continues, “You act like telling Charlie that awful joke was no big deal. You’re a fucking dick. Go tell your own father to die, because he was the one that screwed up everything. Lay off Cas, stay the fuck away from Charlie. I don’t care what you do with Sam, you piece of shit.

Gabe clears his throat. “I can treat Cas however I want.” He stands up. “You think you can stop me?”

Chuck sighs. “C’mon, Gabe—that guy is taller than you.”

Gabe rolls his eyes at Chuck. “Gee, thanks for ruining the moment.”

“Excuse me?” They all look up to see one of the security officers, and when she turns on the flashlight, they pretty much flinch at the blinding light. “People have been complaining, and you need to keep it down.” Her flashlight just happens to shine on Gabe’s flask, and the security officer slowly glances up at the man himself. “I hope that’s orange juice.” Gabe can only give her a weak smile.

___

Everyone is given a fair warning about misconduct in the cinema. Well, except Gabriel. They’ve completely banned him period for drinking. And Chuck feels the need to tell him that he _told_ Gabe not to bring that flask. He told him, but would Gabe listen? No, because he doesn’t like to listen. The same thing has occurred with Charlie and Dean, except it was about Charlie telling Dean that she _told_ him that the plan was not going to work out. But would Dean listen? No. 

Of course, then Dean tells Charlie that she never said such a thing, and what the fuck was she even talking about.

At the lobby, Castiel watches Balthazar (who confessed to him about the failed plan) leave with Chuck and Gabriel, and he decides, that he needs to tell something to Gabriel. So, he follows them close to the door. “Gabriel, wait!”

Gabe stops and motions Chuck to go on without him. He turns around and folds his arms, and he wants Cas to say what he needs to say and to be done with it. “You got ten seconds.”

Cas sighs, because he is beginning to really pity him. “Why do you do this to yourself?” he asks his older half-brother, who simply rolls his eyes. “This drinking and resentment, it...” Cas sighs again, “it’s not helping anyone, least of all yourself.”

And Gabe simply stares at him while Cas waits for some type of answer. Finally, Gabe just chuckles. “That was hilarious.” He moves in closer. “You know what else is hilarious? I once masturbated to Divine all through _Pink Flamingos_.” As Cas can only blink at such a random and gross fact, Gabriel does a mental double take of his words. “Nope, I lied, I stopped towards the end, and then Divine ate dog shit, so I really regretted it. I almost imagined your mother as Divine, though.”

“...Was that _really_ necessary to say to me?”

Gabe backs away, and nods slowly. “Yes.” After a pause, he adds, “Yes it was.” At that, he frowns at him and turns to walk away.

Castiel shakes his head and rubs his temples, thinking about all that has occurred tonight. All he wanted to do was to enjoy a horror film. But no, he has to deal with a drunken half-brother that hates him, and the fact that they almost got kicked out of the cinema. He can still remember the first time he met Gabe and the terrible words he said to him on his mother’s funeral; that he can shove Dana’s condolences up her ass the same way Alfred fucked her. Being told to die by Gabe never bothered him, but any insult against his mother angers Cas to the core. Alfred hurt her just as badly as he hurt everyone else.

Dean sighs and walks over to Castiel, watching Gabriel walk out of there. “You know, _Pink Flamingos_ is highly overrated,” he states, sipping his root beer. “Everyone knows that Divine in _Hairspray_ was the best.” As he simply shrugs at what he considers to be fact, rather than opinion, Dean is met with a look from Castiel. “Don’t judge.”

Castiel rolls his eyes, deciding to get to the point. “Dean, what made you and Charlie think that setting me up with Gabe would be a good idea?” Before Dean can speak, Castiel continues, “And why would you force Balthy into this?” And Cas does not raise his voice or speak harshly towards Dean. But he is very frustrated and tired.

Dean sighs. He might as well tell him the truth. “Because, Castiel, if Gabe continued treating you like shit, I was, and am, going to beat the shit out of him.” He frowns as he says this. “He fucking pisses me off and I’m sick of him insulting you.”

Cas looks on at him, and yes he understands where Dean is coming from. Still, the last thing Cas needs is violence. “You need to let people fight their own battles. Charlie tells you this, too—you’re overprotective.” He gently squeezes Dean’s shoulder to show him that he appreciates his support, but Dean simply rolls his eyes, looking away. Because he is tired of this conversation. Castiel then continues, “How Gabriel treats me is something I have to deal with on my own. And you can’t force Gabe to like me. He will when or if he’s ready to. That may not be for a long time.” He moves away. “Besides, how would Sam react if you get upset because he and Gabe used to be together?”

Dean turns and glares at Cas. “I already told you; I don’t give a rat’s shit about Sam or his problems.”

“Right, because he’s dead to you.” Cas is still convinced that if Dean cared about Sam, he would have been as overprotective as he is towards Charlie and himself.

Dean sighs and asks tiredly, “Where’s Charlie?”

Cas shrugs, glancing around for her from the office. “I last saw her talking to some woman—oh, there she is.” He points his chin at Charlie walking out of the office with another woman, and it is not the security officer. Charlie chuckles with the woman and shakes her hand. As Charlie walks towards Dean and Cas, the woman turns around and faces them.

And suddenly Dean is slammed with memories with this woman before him like a freight train. The woman, half-black and half-white with her short and curly hair, blinks at him, because she recognizes him as well. All she can whisper is, “Dean?”

Other than the hair cut short and the short trench-coat and dressy heals, the woman (who used to walk around in jogging pants and band shirts) has not changed all that much to Dean. After being hit with all of those memories, including the time he almost hit her with his car, their first kiss, the first time they made love, their break-up, Dean eventually gives her a weak smile. “Hey, Cassie.”

Now, Charlie glances between him and this Cassie woman. And all she can do is ruin the moment by asking Dean, “You two know each other?”

The first time was nine years ago. John Winchester, who recently acquired a job as a truck driver, had Dean help him out as they stopped at a city called Cape Girardeau, Missouri. They had the Impala with them, and Dean almost hit Cassie Robinson with the car. The eighteen-year-old girl was not happy about it because a few years before, someone actually hit her with a car. Despite this, it was lust at first sight. She was about to enter her first year in college, majoring in computer science. While there, John befriended Cassie’s father, who helped delivering. For those three days, neither father suspected that Dean would sneak off with the girl and make out with her, but never going further than third base. Then Dean and John had to leave.

The second time was five years ago. John was dead for a year. Dean was tired of traveling. He wanted to settle down somewhere. To this day he cannot remember why he wanted to settle down in St. Louis. He didn’t like it, so he went further south. He ended up in Cape Girardeau again. Cassie was still there. She was in her final year in her undergraduate career, a fifth year student, switching her major from computer science to her true passion—Journalism. He was about to leave the city when his car broke down. Cassie had a friend that could fix it. While her friend fixed the car, they ended up in bed together. Thus began a two-month tryst. It ended up lasting that long because Dean did not want to leave.

“Yeah,” Dean replies, his eyes still on Cassie, who can only look down and smile.

Castiel smiles at Dean, thinking they should leave Dean alone with this woman to reconnect. He says, “Well, we’ll go to the car.” He motions Charlie to follow him, and she simply trots off with him.

Once his friends are out of earshot, Dean turns to his one-time lover. His hands are deep in his jacket pockets. Cassie’s hands are deep in her trench-coat pockets. Dean clears his throat. This is so fucking awkward. “So, you’re here in Ohio, too.”

“I am,” she replies, giving him a faint smile.

“And, uh, you’ve got a haircut.” He gestures at it.

“I needed a change.” Her smile disappears for a moment. Then it reappears. “You have not changed much at all. Your voice is lower.” Dean chuckles.

“Yeah, well...” He looks down, nodding at her. “So, um, what are you doing here in Columbus?”

“I’m a teaching assistant at Ohio State. For Journalism.” So, Cassie is still doing that. “And I’m a doctoral candidate.” She inhales and exhales, as if she has had to figure out what to say to Dean. “So I’m almost done, I think.”

Dean smiles gently at her. “Well, I’ll be rooting for you.”

Suddenly, a ringtone goes off. And since it’s not an AC/DC song, Dean correctly assumes that it’s from Cassie. She blinks at her phone and sighs. “Well, I better get going,” she says, “My boyfriend’s waiting on me.”

And then it hits Dean like an arrow straight to the heart. Cassie is taken. She belongs to someone else now. That means there is absolutely no chance of them rekindling anything. Dean wonders how he could be so stupid. He clears his throat. “Um, yeah, well,” he stammers, thinking about how this other man gets to cuddle against her, taste her, make love to her. “I, uh, I won’t keep them waiting.” 

She smiles at that and reaches over to shake his hand. “It’s good seeing you again, Dean.” At that, she walks out towards one of the other doors. Dean watches her go, already missing the way her hand locked against his. And he frowns and swears to himself.

Meanwhile, as Cas and Charlie walk out of the movie theater, Charlie tells him “Well I recognized her from a Democratic rally a few weeks ago.” She meant Cassie. Cas nods at that. Charlie feels that Cas is probably angry with her and Dean for this plan, which failed on top of it. She hesitant before she speaks, “I know you’re angry at me and Dean, but you know...” Cas simply stares at her, waiting for her to continue. Then she concludes, “I kinda like Gabe, and you’re my friend, so I wanted to see if you can get along.” Cas sighs at this.

“At least you have a better reason than Dean does.”

“Well, when I see Gabe in class on Monday, I’ll be sure to tell him to watch out.” They walk out of the door, and as soon as Cas looks outside, he blinks at the sight of Balthazar, sitting by the bench. 

Balthazar glances up at them and waves. “The movie was a bloody waste of time,” he simply says with a faint smile.

“What are you still doing here?” Cas asks. “I thought you and Gabriel had left by now.”

“Oh Gabby did,” the Brit replies. “Told Chuck to drive off when I was on my way.” Cas is not too surprised at all. “He’ll let me back in tomorrow, though. He’s pretty forgiving.” He clears his throat. “By the way, can I crash your place tonight?”

All Cas and Charlie can do is exchange glances.

___

It is only forty-eight degrees outside on a cloudy Tuesday, and it is only noon. People are buying more hot coffee and are wearing jackets. Some are starting to wear longer jackets or coats. And Gabriel is not sure why he did not bother to wear a jacket.

For starters, he was in a hurry to get to class because he was up all night with homework, and secondly, he was so distraught over having to see Sam again. Third, he was still extremely pissed off from what he perceived as betrayal on Balthazar’s part for hanging around Castiel. Balthazar called him this morning, but Gabriel told him he was no longer welcome in his apartment. Well, kicking him out of the apartment did not really erase the hurt he felt from being betrayed, and he kept wondering if he could trust anyone anymore. He never got a chance to check the weather report.

Sam never says a single word to him before class began, but Schumacher ends up asking Gabe whether or not the younger man contacted him. All he can do was attempt to smile and reply, “Yes. He contacted me.” But despite Sam obeying Gabe’s word to only email him, Gabe hasn’t bothered to open up the email. Sam never says a single word to him after class ended. 

He spends his night at work getting irritable, snapping at everyone, including Chuck—especially when the latter tells him about Balthazar staying with him. 

The next day, it is still cloudy and cold, and Gabe forgets his jacket again. After math, Gabe went over to his Anatomy class, struggling to concentrate over it all. As he walks out of the class, it’s getting to the point that all Gabe wants is to lock himself in his apartment and take a break from life. Now that he has kicked out Balthazar, he no longer has to be subjected to useless pep talks about how he needs to get over all of this. He doesn’t need to get over _anything_. He is his own man, and he can wallow up in self-pity and bitterness if he wants. It’s better to be an asshole to people he felt deserved his wrath than to be reasonable and allow himself to be hurt again. He does not regret how he acted towards Sam over the phone. He does not care if Balthazar starves to death. Castiel and Chuck can take care of him, right?

Gabriel tries to calm himself down, and he stares at the students walking from place to place as he heads his way to grab something to munch on before heading home. He does not feel as insecure about being a student in their mid-thirties around here these days. Meeting others like him has helped tremendously. He’s met a former truck driver in Anatomy who is studying to become a doctor. She is thirty-five. A latecomer in English is forty-two and is majoring in Business. Still, his hair is thinning, and he feels he’s already wasted his entire life away as a cook. Why couldn’t he be like his eldest brother, who was the first in the family to attend and graduate from college and, last time he saw him, is currently doing so well as a manager for a Fortune 500 company?

He spots Charlie passing out pamphlets to passersby. The Mid-term election is just around the corner. Charlie never did anything shitty to him, except force him to focus on math instead of his other classes. Trembling as the cold wind hits his skin, he considers going over to her and apologizing for how he acted.

Instead, someone taps him on the shoulder, and when he turns around, his eyes widen at the sight of Sam.

Sam sighs, not smiling at all, but he says very calmly, “Fifteen minutes.” He pauses at Gabe’s flannel. Why is he not wearing at jacket? His hardened expression softens. “Do...you want to borrow my jacket?”

Gabe remembers the many times Sam used to offer him his shirt, his jacket, his umbrella, his words of comfort. Those little memories only confirm Gabe’s belief that he was a piece of shit to Sam. He glares at the younger man. “No thanks and go away, okay? I have to go home and get ready to go to work,” he replies sharply but in a low tone. It’s a flat out lie.

Sam rolls his eyes. What will it take? “Okay but you haven’t answered my email about what we should do, and I had an idea.” 

Gabe shrugs. He is cold, and he wants to leave. “So?”

Sam seriously cannot believe Gabe right now. “So?! I’m not going to fail this class because you don’t wanna set aside this conflict we have, and I know you don’t want to fail this class either.” Gabe refuses to look at him, his nose flaring. And he is cold. Sam sighs and continues, “I really want to work with you. You don’t even have to discuss it with me right now, since you need to go to work, but just...I dunno, reply to my email?”

Gabe glares at Sam again, and saying nothing, he simply walks off, leaving Sam to regret his decision to even talk to him.

___

A knock on his bedroom door snaps Sam from sleep. The door opens, and a much younger Asian-American man peeks inside. “I was just letting you know that I’ll go ahead and pick up Jo tonight.”

Sam wipes his eyes, realizing he fell asleep on his textbook, and he yawns, nodding. “ ‘Kay, b’careful...”

“I always am,” he replies to Sam before he leaves.

“Hey, Kevin?” Sam calls out. Kevin turns back around.

“Yeah?”

“Just... thanks for going to pick up Jo from there,” he speaks. “I just really haven’t felt all that comfortable going there anymore, you know?” He gestures at his books. “And I got this big test coming up.” Sam never told any of his roommates why he did not want to go there anymore, and ever since, he feels guilty for letting Gabe get to him like this to the point where it is taking Kevin away from doing what he needs to do--study, just like Sam. The only difference is, Kevin is living off of his many scholarships and grants, so there is no need for him to work, allowing him to be a full-time student at Ohio State University. Still...

Kevin nods. “Yeah, just take it easy.” At that, he shuts the door, and Sam sighs.

Glancing over the words in his textbook, he realizes that he is only half-finished with his studying. Having to tackle classes and work twenty hours a week (his only off day is Wednesday) is becoming too much for him for so many reasons. Plus, ever since he has had to go part-time at his job, it is straining him when he has to pay for his gas as well.

His phone buzzes, and when he picks it up, he realizes that it is not a text but an email. He opens up the app, and can only blink at what the email says.

_Fine, but you’re writing the paper on the supernatural, I’ll work on the presentation._

The email is a reply from none other than Gabriel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone cares, Modern Talking was an 80s German Europop duo (associated with Italo Disco), and Dean and Charlie saw them on TV one time and Dean thought they were gay because of their voices. The title is the name of one of their songs. That's it.


End file.
